Thursday, March 15, 2012

Who is Tucker Max?

Tucker Max…hmm…where do I start?  Well, let me begin by saying, total dirtbag.  Oh, too forward for you?  Okay, let me think…hmm…nope, only profanities come to mind.  Think I’m kidding?  I doubt you’ve read his first book, I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell.

I remember thinking when my book club voted it in; wow, I’m not so sure about reading a book about a guy who’s only average looking and really has nothing spectacular going on for him except a blog about college life for boys.  Read that last word again:  boys!  But, of course, I went with the flow, and purchased a book that not only turned out to be one of my worst mistakes ever…but also a book I later dreamed of burning in full aggravation I spent even a piddly penny on the worthless thing.  It was full of raunchy, college-type escapades that real men wouldn't dream of doing.  Okay, some of it they may dream of, but they sure wouldn't treat women that way; nor would they write a book blasting the female race.

If you're an insecure, average—not really fabulous in anyway-kinda-guy, you’ll love Tucker Max.  He’ll make up for all those girls who shut you down and made you feel inferior, and all those football playing jocks you wish you could’ve hung out with.  I’ve found in my research mostly guys aching to have a beautiful girl…mostly because they can’t get one themselves, love Tucker Max.  And girls who are insecure and have only had good guys…they desperately want to be with Tucker Max.  A test of a true playa.  Love at its finest, right?  Oh, and of course, other jerks like him too.  Idiots often attract one another.

Guess what?  I know Tucker Max for what he is, and that’s an a-hole. I’m sitting here still trying to figure out why Tucker Max has bracelets that symbolize the same meaning Jesus does (WWTD), along with at least one best seller book and a movie!  A movie?  I don't understand America.  I mean, who would buy a book, especially if you are a female, called Sloppy Seconds?

My friend Amber swears that my issues are because I have a daughter, and I now have the need to raise her to be smarter than losers like Tucker.  However—I’m not sure that’s my real issue.  I’m thinking honestly, why should we have to train our daughters?  Why don’t we start with ourselves!?  I think my actual problem is that several smart, educated, beautiful women are falling for his lame lines and making him a millionaire, when really all he is, is an average, loser guy aching to make up for his inadequacies as a human.  It’s sad. 
So—to all you women who have the need to sleep with men to feel that feeling of being needed...STOP.  Your knight in shining armor is waiting.  Guys like Tucker Max throw your clothes out his window and make you look like a dumbass in front of his friends.  Real men wine and dine you, surprising you with flowers.  Whatever it is you are into, they are paying attention to your needs.

I ask all female friends…do you settle for beer and potato chips?  Or are you setting your sights on wine and caviar?  Whatever you dreams, please assure me you aren’t settling and swimming with the bottom feeders such as Tucker Max.

Think I’m joking?  Although I hate to add hits to his site – check it out if in doubt: