Facing Your Fears (and Why It's Important)

As I’ve written already, Mexico was a complete blast.  It was everything I’d imagined and more…and since I’m quite the optimist this is saying a lot!

Before I even went on my trip, I decided I was going to zipline.  Since with each year of age I've become more frightened of anything above the second story of my home, this is a big deal.  You see, I used to be the girl who took chances.  I was the one who was never afraid of anything, and if I was, I sure wasn’t going to admit it!

I remember getting a tongue ring on a trip to Wyoming with a group of girlfriends who were also supposed to get them.  The lady was cracked out and apparently up on an night meth-binge…but I didn’t care.  I said I was doing it, and by God, I was doing it.  So I went first and guess what…I was the only one who went home with a tongue ring.  Hey, I didn’t blame my friends, I was crazy!

Or, the first trip to Mexico I took where I went para-sailing.  I had to be the first one to go as my friends were all skeptical.  And I didn’t act the least bit scared when the driver of the boat almost sent my flying into a group of buildings on the beach on my descent back.

Somehow, after birthing two children I’ve decided I’m a scaredy cat.  I don’t go on the huge water slides at the parks.  I don’t even ride the roller coasters anymore…my old favorite!  It’s like now I have two very small beings I’m responsible for, and I don’t want to do anything crazy.  Period!  The interest is no longer there to prove I’m the tough girl.  It drives my husband crazy!  He misses the old me.

So, you see my point at the wildness of deciding to zipline…and then on top of that, rappelling from 70 feet in the air.  But, as I try to soar upwards with my dreams, I realize I have to face my fears.  I can’t run from things that scare me anymore; I have to face them head on. 

So, there I went up what seemed like a billion flights of rickety wooden stairs (in the wind, mind you), in the middle of the jungle.  With each step the fear was crawling up, threatening to engulf and nearly immobilize me.  But, I kept on to the top.  I watched Shannon step off the platform of the tower, backwards, secured by only a rope and with a smile on face.  I kept thinking, go back Trina-this is crazy.

But, I didn’t go back.  I didn’t look down.  I stepped off the edge with my heart racing, hoping I wouldn’t plummet down to my most certain death, and rappelled the 70 feet without a hitch.  Ziplining came next-it was much easier.  I felt free, flying over the beautiful jungle and who knows how fast…not a care in the world.

You see I overcame a major obstacle that day…I decided that nothing is going to stop me…ever.  I’m going to take my fears and face my hurdles head on, ready to jump.  Nothing and no one is going to get in the way of me achieving what I want in this wonderful journey we call life.  It may get scary at times, but as I learned, I can handle fear and ultimately turn it to triumph.   ~Trina

A Little Much Needed R&R in Mexico

Well after being together over eight years, married nearly seven; a serious vacation was past due for my husband and I.  We were both cranky, tired, sick of working…and ready for a break from our kiddos that we adore so much. 

As mother’s, we feel responsible to always be the ones that are there for our kids, our families.  We feel guilty for taking any time, especially enough time, to ourselves.  We struggle with the internal battle of control and missing them, and desperately needing time to ourselves.

Then, you throw a marriage into the mix.  That marriage also needs to be nurtured and cared for.  Okay, so where do I find all this time?  I don’t.  Thus, The Seven Year Itch Story, the Doing It All story, and many other articles I write based on my crazy life.  We don’t have enough time, so at least one item or relationship in our lives is always lacking attention. 

My mom agreed to watch our children while my husband and I went to Cozumel, Mexico for seven nights.  Of course, the day she was to arrive Washington State got struck with a huge snow and ice storm, delaying her for nearly three days—and thus her not arriving until after I had already left for our trip.  Thankfully a close friend agreed to keep both my kids, and while Clayton did get sick in between, everyone survived and my mom finally made it.

Enter paradise.  This is literally where we stayed…a beautiful white sandy beach and crystal blue see-through waters.  I spent lazy days reading books and magazines, laying either poolside or oceanside, whatever my little heart desired.  When we got bored, we took long walks on the  beach, collecting sea shells for our daughter and watching the waves crash in.

There were a few fun excursions including snorkeling and ziplining and rapelling (the last two are an entire article in itself) but the best moments were on the beach, relaxing and not having a care in the world.  No wonder my life is so stressful!  All I do is run and stretch myself thin 24/7.  I realized that we all need a little R&R, no matter how short of a trip—we all need it.  Our kids will survive.

Shannon and I had several deep talks…the kind you never have time for when you have little ones running around.  We realized—we are indeed so different.  And we have both compromised many things to be together; which that in itself is a miracle.  However with all of our different views on life, certain aspects of religion, child-rearing, etc—we have so many views we see the same.  And the end destination is the same.  To be together, with a happy whole family.  We realized we need this time apart once in awhile to get back to that.  To find that inner peace we’ve been missing…the peace that we haven’t had in a long time.

So why wait so long?  Mostly money.  We either were having babies or were just starting our careers.  Now, we are at a place financially we can go on trips a couple times a year.  However, to be honest…we could have been going a long time ago.  All I had to do was cut out a little Starbucks, save a few dollars by cutting back at the grocery store…start a trip fund.  Even if it was for only a night or two…it’s well worth it.

I would definitely suggest longer than a few nights if you can, but if you can’t…you at least need a couple away.  Don’t feel guilty…yes you’ll miss your kids but they will be fine.  I found this peace after giving my mind a rest…a peace again I haven’t felt in years.  I am calmer at work…I actually enjoyed a full day of fun with the kids after getting back with little fuss of the house, or cleaning…etc.  While each family is different, I believe to sustain a happy relationship and self-sanity; we all need a little R&R.