Man Publicly Shames 3-Year-Old Daughter

I’m not sure if you’ve seen the picture of a 3-year old girl on the internet (link to copy below article). Her father put a shame sign around her neck and posted it, thinking he’d be funny by noting it could be used her in her senior yearbook.  While some people, (eh, the sane people!) are calling is terrible, others are disagreeing, arguing it’s discipline.  One news channel’s title says; Cute or Cruel? Cute? Unbelievable!! Discipline?  Seriously people? Let’s call this what it is, and that’s shitty parenting. 

What example are you setting for your child here? That it’s okay for people to publicly shame her.  Make fun of her.  Taunt and ridicule her.  It’s acceptable, because her father would do it.  Nice job daddy, you are really setting up her for a future filled with confidence and prosperity.  Not to mention the damage you are doing regarding the potty training process period. You are supposed to make the entire training-thing a positive experience.  Not a humiliating one.  They are already embarrassed enough when they have an accident.  Isn’t that enough?  They are babies for goodness sakes.  Who cares if they have an accident?  You are supposed to be their parent and love and care for them.  We all are potty trained at some point…why make such a simple offense turn into such a terrible experience?! It’s disgusting! 

Let’s talk about you, the father here.  Don’t tell me you’ve never had one of those moments when you couldn’t make it to the bathroom.  Maybe it was too much spicy food.  And you couldn't hold it.  I know you’ve been there.  Maybe we should have strapped a big sign on your chest, posted your photo all over the internet that you Sh#T yourself.  Maybe you're the one that needs to be humiliated. 

I’m not against discipline people.  What I’m against is abuse.  I’m against treating children poorly.  I’m against inhumane acts against children.  Where do you draw the line? Shaming another human being is unacceptable.  Shaming a child is horrific.

I tear up at the thought of my little girl or sweet baby boy being on the internet to be mocked at.  I don’t care the offense, it absolutely appalls me.  Even if I’m on the softer side, my husband, a firm believer in spanking, would be offended by this. He loves his children and would never, ever do anything to publicly embarrass them, or open the door for others to do the same.

What’s next? Public Lashings as discipline?  Beatings as acceptable?  This is not acceptable.  Somebody, somewhere, needs to do something.  If anything, take her poor face off the internet and give that jerk a good scolding...in the very least.

We are supposed to be raising our children to be successful; instilling confidence, the ability to trust, forgiveness, humility, respect, love.  How does his actions fall under any of those?  It doesn't!  It’s time to wake up America, we are raising our future here.  We complain about what our world’s coming too, but look at some of the supported parenting tactics! 

~Trina

http://www.myfoxphoenix.com/story/19696139/2012/10/01/dad-shames-daughter-with-i-pooped-sign. 

Why Write?

Okay, so while I'm researching for a few other articles (there's so much to write about out there that makes me stay up at night, I just wish I had more time to write), I thought I'd address a question I often times get asked.  Why write?  Why write about subjects that are so emotional?  Why write about subjects "I", or actually, the person reading, doesn't care about?  Why write about dark things that we can't change in the world?   Why not write about happy subjects that make everyone smile and giggle?  Don't we have enough stress in our lives?  Why not focus on all the good things and leave out the bad?


Let me start by saying, we are obviously all different.  Use Leah and I as an example; while people refer to me as super mom, I am definitely not super mom.  Leah is super mom.  My sister, she's super mom.  I've never seen more devoted moms, more loving parents.  While I am a devoted and loving parent, I also attempt to balance working 40 hours a week, keeping up my schedule with the blog, twitter, writing to agents on our book, cooking every night so my family lives a longer, healthier life.  Researching articles, meeting up with friends (a must have for my insanity).  So my willingness to try to take on that much naturally sacrifices time with my family (this balance isn't one I can do forever, and I know this).  It makes me sound pretty selfish, but I've convinced myself I'm doing it for the better of my family.  I tell myself daily big successes do not come without hard work (if I don't go insane first).

When you read Leah's articles, you see this reflected.  You see a mother struggling with sleep time, eating new foods, etc.  A mother who wants nothing more than the best for her children and her family. She's constantly analyzing her children's schedules, making sure they don't get too much TV time, making sure they are eating healthy...making sure she's teaching them enough.  If my sister were a writer-it would be the same thing. She's a mom who's mastered many things and has also sacrificed a successful career for the time-being to raise two smart and amazing children.

In my articles you see a plagued mind;  a mind desperate to be changing something, anything in our obliterated world.  Why do I write about things I can't change?  Because to me, the glass is always half full.  I can and will change it, somehow.  Even if it's by awareness, even if it's by getting through to one person, and one person alone...I've succeeded.  Hey, I pray nearly every night for every child to go unharmed.  Do you think I can reach every child?  No, but I will try!  I realize I am a tiny person in this huge world.  I realize, I am not even famous (not a famous writer, yet!) or rich...or successful enough to impact lives like Angelina Jolie can.  But, if I sat around and did nothing, I'd be like many others in the world and then...if we aren't trying to do something-no matter how small, we never will accomplish anything.

I had a friend in Oklahoma who was a foster mom.  She took in children who'd been abused in many ways, and watched them have to go back to the abusing parents time and time again.  She's discuss her frustrations with me in a failed system.  You can have a caring and aggressive social worker with all the right intentions, but if you don't have backing from the courts the child is likely going back.  The decision often rests with a judge, and unfortunately, he's governed by laws which sometimes aren't applicable (at least fairly) to the situation.  As another friend told me the other day, the abusive parent has all the rights, the baby has none.  How disgusting is that?

In every news piece I picture my child, I picture my family.  I want to reach out and save the baby, as I would if it were my own.  I wonder how everyone can't feel that way, and if they do, how they can ignore it as I can't!  I can't forget the hope, I can't let go of the fact that maybe, just maybe...writing about it can change something.  Even if it only makes me feel better doing so for the time being; someday, someone somewhere will be changed.  Or a situation will be changed.  If I'm lucky enough; a life changed.  I will never give up, nor will I give up hope.  ~Trina

*I have to thank Leah for dealing with this crazed passion of mine.  While often times I veer off the beaten path (our book isn't filled with stories of beaten and abused children), I try to always write from a mother's perspective.  She not only accepts this, but encourages me by sending me articles she knows will get me fired up.  A true partner revels in one another's strengths and supports that.  A successful partner goes a step further- they feed that strength.  I'm often telling her "you need to write about that!" when she's filling me in on trying to move with two toddlers, or trying a new sleep routine. By the end I'm often laughing so hard I'm about to pee my pants.  Leah is quite the comedian and can bring a funny light to just about anything.  


While it sounds so simple, it is indeed not easy to find...so thank you Leah!  Together we will do many great and amazing things!