And Then There Was Kindergarten...

The majority of us strive to be great parents.  We do our best to prepare our children for life, for failure and success, for love and heartache, for the ups and down they will inevitably face as time goes on.  Each stepping stone is one to be proud of; each new tooth, or smile...each word or sentence said with glee.  We think these days will last forever...even though we're told time and time again they won't.

The first day of Kindergarten was one I knew would be emotional and exciting.  I prepared mentally for it at preschool graduation, as trivial as that may sound to some.  In anticipation of the big day, we prepared the backback, the outfit.  We painted nails and discussed hairstyles.  We planned on the a.m. photo-ops, for there would be pictures to remember this moment.  The only thing I hadn't planned on was the gigantic, black eye Callie got falling down at Walmart the Saturday before...however that was a small speck in the horizon compared to the huge changes that awaited us.

I made pancakes, and we ran around like chickens with our heads cut off, trying to get in our new routine.  Clayton was tired and didn't want to get up; Shannon was hustling after me and instructing me constantly we will be late if you don't hurry, as if he was used to getting up and getting the kids ready everyday.  Callie walked out the door with a belly full of her favorite breakfast, her hair curled perfectly, and a different outfit than I'd picked out...a much plainer one than I preferred, but a cute one all the same.  We were ready.

We walked our five-year-old up to the school along with hundreds of other parents, ready to confront this new phase in life.  Clayton didn't have pants on, and I had wild hair and smudged mascara.  We may have looked like the trashy, crazy parents we all eye with their children in Walmart and wonder if we should call CPS...but we didn't care.  This was our day.  My baby's day.  I heard all the thoughts running through my brain-Have you succeeded mom? Have you truly prepared her for everything she will face? Is she ready for the trials and tribulations school is sure to bring?

I kissed Callie goodbye, and Callie being Callie, barely noticed.  She was already ready to have fun and play...make new friends and enjoy the newness of school.  I didn't blink a tear.  I'd cried the night before a little when I thought about dropping her off, a little sniffle...sniffle...and then it was over.  I did cry on the ride home though when Clayton kept asking for his sister.  Sissy!  Sissy!  And of course I welted up again when he ran first thing into her room after we got home and crawled under her covers in her pink bed.  How could I help it?

We are only on day two, and I'll have you know, I'm not crying.  I'm preparing a schedule and getting ready to plan some great things for Clayton and I to enjoy together...just the two of us. I'm excited for Callie to start bringing home school work and other things that will keep her brain going; keep her busy.  I'm ready to help assist in the classroom and PTA as needed, even though I never really pictured myself a PTA mom...I want to be involved.

I'm realizing and accepting; I am so that mom.  I'm the crying, sniffling, bumbling idiot I always made fun of before I had kids.  Why is she crying?  They are in preschool!  They still have naps!  Good lord. What will she do when they graduate from highschool or get married?  Have a heart attack?  Well, I may just have a heart attack, thank you very much!   ~Trina

Delivering Grace - Teaching Lessons That Will Last A Lifetime

Original Post 12/31/2011


“Grace,” our son said proudly with one hand folded into his other, fingers intertwined.   We probably shouldn’t have, but we laughed.  We had just started saying grace at our dinner table a few weeks ago.  Instead of doing the “Bless us, Oh Lord, and these thy gifts” blessing I had been raised on; my husband and I decided to start our own tradition of grace by simply giving thanks.  We didn’t know how long it would take to catch on, but we were ready to give it a shot with a three-year-old and a twenty-two-month-old who each seemed to be picking up on so much lately.  So three weeks into our new routine when our preschooler volunteered to say grace, my husband encouraged him.

“Great Luke!  Go ahead, you say grace tonight.” 

So pure, so blunt.  He said it.  “Grace.”  And like I said, we laughed.  It was beautiful and he was proud.  Then we clapped.

The next night he wanted to say it again, but this time we invited him to continue. 

“Say what you are thankful for.”  Sure we helped him out and gave him ideas.  “You could be thankful for your family.  Your brother.  Your food.  Your home.” 

He got it immediately.  “I’m thankful for my mommy.  My daddy.  My ZZ,” he announced as he looked at each one of us around the table.  Then he glanced down and mentioned our dog.  “I’m thankful for my Yukon.” He paused in a slump; he had run out of living and breathing blessings.  Then with an excited charge he concluded, “and I’m thankful for my ambulance.”  His new favorite toy.  He smiled. 

Impressed, my husband and I looked at one another and then back at him and said, “Amen!”  He repeated it and his little brother with his hands semi-clasped, said his best Amen.  Then we clapped and told Luke what a great job he did and gave his little bro some props too for his participation. 

A week later, at Christmas Eve dinner with grandma and grandpa, he suggested he say grace.  “Grace.”  Now he’s doing it just to get a hearty laugh from his dad, which is delivered on queue.  But he does follow it up being thankful for each of us at the table, even grandpa twice.  Then out of the blue, he says he’s thankful for his Aunt Kathy who actually couldn’t join us this year.  With all fairness, he hears her name often, undoubtedly earlier in the day. 

The brilliant part of all of this isn’t that a three-year-old is hamming it up in front of family, or that it’s cute that he’s thankful for a toy or a missed aunt, but it’s seeing the whole purpose behind our efforts to set an example for our kids actually work.  Things can actually click.  Maybe even before you know it.  But it’s happening.  And here we are just weeks after starting our dinnertime blessings and not only were they catching on, but they were really getting into it!  I know what you’re thinking…just wait a few years and see who’s excited to say grace.  Probably not two boys who would rather go play with friends or their new DS game (assuming DS is the thang in 2015).

I know my efforts can have a great impact on my children’s lives.  I know this, but it still astonishes me at times.  For instance, a few months ago I started explaining to my boys after I had taken them somewhere really fun, like Chuck E Cheese’s or the pool, that it’d be really nice if they said to whomever took them, “thank you so much for taking me there.”  When I started saying it, I always felt like I was talking to myself, as I glance in the rearview mirror to see them just looking out their windows, never saying anything back to me.  But I kept it up for several weeks, never really thinking it would work.  Then one day we were leaving the park and out of the blue my boy says it.  “Thank you so much for taking me to the park with all of my friends.”  I was so excited I wanted to cry.  It worked!  I couldn’t believe it worked! 

Ultimately, whether or not they will want to actively participate in saying grace as they get older, they will be learning to be aware of what they are grateful for.  As my husband and I continue to try to lead by example and show them that gratitude can come in many forms-be it family, food on the table, toys or even an event or a feeling; they will start to recognize it in their own lives away from the dinner table, throughout their every day.  They will be conscious of it.  As they experience things they will have an appreciation of what is actually enriching their lives rather than just taking things for granted. 

Sometimes they are the lessons that seem so simple.  And they can be.  These are the lessons that can last a lifetime.  But it’s got to start somewhere and be nurtured.  It’s up to us to deliver grace. Then we have one more thing to be grateful for.  Amen!

It's the Little Things That Count...Like Homemade Butterfinger Icecream

On Monday I got off at 4:00pm, so I got dinner cooked a little early and we all headed to the grocery store afterward to get my weekly shopping done.  It had been a busy weekend and I didn't have time...or rather, didn't make time.  Grocery shopping isn't exactly my favorite thing to do.  But, it was a beautiful day, the kids were in a great mood, and it seemed like a good idea.

It didn't go too bad, I did hold Clayton most of the time or he was screaming (I never take him to the store with me, in case you didn't guess), and Callie was begging for this or that.  Shannon decided he wanted to buy an icecream maker, like the one his mom has in Oklahoma.  She makes the best butterfinger icecream, so instead of cringing at the price, I smiled at the thought of a little unhealthy indulgence later on.

We got home around 7:00, and Shannon started the process of putting the icecream maker together.  I normally would be busily doing the dishes, or sweeping, or giving the kids a bath, but I couldn't help feeling their excitement; it was infectous.  I decided the dishes and the baths could wait - I was participating in the fun!

If you've ever made homemade icecream (I had not), you know that it takes much longer than the forty minutes the directions say it does.  So, at 9:30pm, we were still up, way beyond bedtime, waiting (and drooling I'm sure) for the icecream.  I begged Shannon, who is the direction follower in our family, to just this once, go against the grain and check if it was done.  It was humming loudly and straining to churn; I was sure this was a sign it was done.  But, Shannon being the level-headed person of our team...waited it out and sure enough...it clicked off and we finally got to enjoy some of the yummiest butterfinger icecream ever.

Even though we were up way past bedtime with a sugar-high, and the icecream took forever, and I went to bed with dishes in the sink...and the kids with no bath, it was one of the best evenings of the year so far.  All we did was make icecream!  While we were out the $50 for the maker, next time all we'll have to pay for is the ingredients.  We may hear it all the time, but it doesn't matter...I'm still amazed at how the simple things, the small things are what you remember.

I've included Janet's (Shannon's mom) super recipe below:

You'll Need:
1 Eagle Brand Evaporated Milk
3/4 Cup Sugar
1 tsp Vanilla
dash of sea salt
2 Eggs
5 Butterfinger Bars, crushed
1/2 a gallon of 2% milk
Rock salt/icecream salt
ice

Directions:
mix together the evaporated milk, sugar, vanilla,  sea salt, eggs, and butterfingers, and 2 cups of the milk in your blender, and blend well.  Put in the icecream tin, fill the remaining tin up to fill line with the remainder of the milk.  Add the crushed butterfingers.  Surround the outside of the tin with ice and rock salt per the icecream makers instructions, and viola, in (much longer than forty minutes, I assure you) you'll have homemade delight and some enjoyable memories that will last. ~ Trina

Television and Our Children

Alright, mamas!  Let's take a look at what are kiddos are watching on TV.  The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends children under the age of two not watch any television and that children older than two watch 1 to 2 hours per day of quality programming.* Yet so many of the moms I talk to are similar to me and, at the very least, have their television on as background noise.  And when we do let our kids watch TV, many of us rely on Nick Jr. and Disney to be said "quality" programming.  But are these characters the best role models for our children?  Let's take a look at a few, shall we?

Study #1 - Blue's Clues (Role Model: Joe)
Seriously, sometimes these characters act like they aren't any older than three themselves.  Just the other day, Joe (I always want to call him Steve) was trying to teach our young about what we do when we wake up in the morning.  The first thing is to "do, do do, do, do"...did you catch that middle "do do"...is go potty.  So he's leading us through the motions like he's in charge, but after Blue does his deed, Joe can't remember what to do next.  He looks so confused and looks directly at my son for help as he scratches his chin.  "Hmmm, what are we supposed to do next?" Then a little kids voice from inside the TV calls out, "FLUSH!" And all of a sudden, Joe is reminded, "right, flush!" And he smiles and sings his "do do" song.  Sure, we all forget things from time to time.  Understood.  But then seconds later as he's coaching Blue through washing his hands, he looks all sorts of confused again and asks, "what do we wash?" to which some child shouts out, "hands!"  Really, Joe?  You couldn't remember that we wash our hands after we go potty.  This is quite disturbing to me now.  And this isn't the first episode like this...he's confused and at a loss for words in most.  Beware, mothers.  Beware.

Study #2 - Dora The Explorer (Role Model: Dora)
Here we have a really cute, likable young lady.  I won't go into it now how her hairstyle bugs and that she should think about changing her outfit every now and then, but I do want to talk about her attentiveness.  One episode that concerned me was when several watermelons were rolling down a hill or mountain and she was more concerned with looking back at the camera and asking my children to tell her to jump than she was about just watching for the dang fruit and jumping for herself.  The lessons being taught her are to ask your friends for help rather than be responsible for yourself and doing what you need to do to take care of business. Same with her relationship with Swiper.  She's always asking for help to lookout for this crazy thief, but nine times out of ten he's right behind her.  If she'd just be a little more vigilant, she might get further in life. Just sayin'.

Study #3 - Special Agent Oso (Role Model: S.A. Oso) 
Here we go again with a leader of kidville acting as the leader, then proving that he falls short in so many ways.  The episode that sticks out here is when he riding on some sort of super fast subway and opens the door so that two of his Agent buddies can ride their motorcycles up into the craft.  Someone tells him to wrap it up and he doesn't shut the door in time and the subway's open door clips the wall of a tunnel and stops the rail machine from moving any further.  Clearly, costing the city and tax payers mucho dinero!  But before he can deal with this crisis, he's being called half way across the world to help a little girl pick strawberries or catch a ball or something.  When he gets there to help her, he calls for help from our children to help him figure out the steps, even though his palm pilot gives them to him.  I guess the good news is after he learns from our kids, he goes back to his agency and fixes the major problem at hand.  Whew!

Study #4 - Dino Dan (Role Model: Dan)
First of all, where is his dad?  They never get around to that!  And I'm not crazy about how he rolls his eyes at his mom almost every time she says something to him.  But, what I'm really worried about is how bossy little Dan can get sometimes.   When he's not telling his little whiny brother what to do, he's bossing Angie around. Go here. Go do this.  Go get that.  To which she willingly agrees with a smile.  But the craziest part is every time she comes back, she finds out she just missed seeing a dino.  Wouldn't you think the next time, she'd tell Dan to go take care of something for himself for once so she can get a glimpse of a brachiosaurus?

Study #5 - Fresh Beat Band (Role Model: Marina)
No, no, no! I'm not going to get into the fact that the first actress who played Marina got preggers and left the show.  Gasp!  (I had to Google "Marina +Fresh Beat +where is she now" to find that out!)  Anyway, kids aren't dumb.  You can't replace a character with someone who clearly doesn't look like the old character and call them the same person.  At least Blue's Clues got a Joe instead of Steve.  They didn't try to pass of Joe as Steve.  So how can the Fresh Beats do this to our kids?  "Mom, why are they calling that girl Marina?" Now my son hasn't said that yet, but I know he's thinking it.

My point here is this.  These shows can take it step higher.  Dan, involve Angie every now and then.  She's woman, here her roar!  And maybe then she can share in those magical moments when you hear a dinosaur roar (do they roar???).  These shows don't have to manipulate our kids.  Fresh Beat, you don't have to try and trick our kids into believing your new Marina is the old Marina.  If their parents are doing a good enough job at home, they won't find out that the old Marina got preggo.  It's a TV show, so you could just write in the story that Marina left for college and look, there's a new girl in town named Jenny or Kaitlyn.  These shows don't have to interact with our children.  Can't we do enough as parents where they aren't looking for that kind of connection from TV?  Do they need characters talking TO them and looking directly AT them? I'm just concerned that when our kids are 22 they'll be wondering why Ross and Rachel aren't asking them questions when they're watching reruns of that classic show from the 1990s.  Or they'll feel unappreciated when the dude from House doesn't ask them for their medical opinion. Or why Norm doesn't shout out their name when they walk into the room.  (I know, now I'm getting a little dated...but they may watch an episode or two of Cheers.)

Of course, if you know me, I'm not at all serious about this.  It's just funny to me at 6 in the morning when these characters are shouting out questions to my sons and I'm trying to get a few more zzz's on the couch.  Or the fact that I really did wonder what happened to the "old" Marina.  So you know, I do limit the amount of TV watched though I admit that it's almost always on as background noise and I plan on changing that with our move.  So I hope you enjoyed this post and if you have any mentions from these or other kiddie shows/cartoons, things that just drive you crazy about a show, I'd love love love to hear them!  Thanks for reading!  I hope you laughed a little.  


*Parents Urged Again To Limit TV For Youngest

Do You Lie To Your Kids?

"If you don't eat all your broccoli, you won't grow big like your daddy."  Are there good lies?  Or, rather, are little white lies okay?  On The Today Show yesterday, Ann Curry talked to two parenting experts about just this.  When is it alright to lie to these future adults?  Rachel Fishman Feddersen, editorial director at Parenting.com says 85% of moms in a recent survey have told these little white lies to their children to get out of social obligations.

I am very upfront and truthful with my children.  When we passed an ambulance at the scene of a messy car crash last summer, my son asked what was going on.  I explained to him that two cars crashed and someone maybe got hurt and they were going to go to the hospital where a doctor was sure to make the person feel better.  This was my way of being very direct with him, rather than saying, "Oh everything is just dandy...everyone is fine and life is a bed of roses.  Aren't those lights pretty!"  Though my directness probably led to his obsession and fascination with ambulances and hospital over the next several months.

But I admit to stretching the truth, too.  "Because it's getting dark soon and everyone is going to go home and eat dinner and go to bed."  That's how I explain we're leaving the park.  That's kind of a lie, isn't it?  Not everyone is going home to eat dinner and go to bed.  Some kids may stay longer.  Some kids may get to go out for ice cream.  Or how about a lie versus a probability.  "Get down from there!  If you climb on that you WILL fall and hurt your head and HAVE to go to the emergency room!"  When sure, there is a chance the child will fall and a chance he will hurt his head and yet another chance he might end up in the ER...but it's not a fact.

How about with Santa Claus?  The Easter Bunny?  The Milk Fairy?  The Milk Fairy? Yes, that's a lie I told. It's a fairy I made up.  The milk fairy comes in the middle of the night to take away your sippy of milk and leaves you a really groovy big boy cup of water.  Then every night after that, you drink water from your cup.  No more sippies at night.  Or how about the endless begging and pleading to watch their favorite cartoon which you have grown to despise.  "Oh no, sweetheart, doesn't look like Dora is on right now.  Doesn't look like it's on again until tomorrow.  Let's go paint!"  When secretly it's on now and for the next two hours on every damn cartoon channel and you're willing to go to many lengths to make sure it is not to be seen.

I believe we should be raising our kids to understand honesty and be a good person.  To tell the truth because it feels good and they know they are doing the right thing.  After all, we don't want to teach them to lie which will turn into stealing which will turn into them doing drugs and probably worse.  We don't want them to end up behind bars.  But sometimes the truth is stretched to bring magic into our kids lives or to make ours a little easier in the face of an imminent tantrum.  Of course, we can't forget that these little kids are actually very smart and intuitive too and can often see through our fibs.  What are the little white lies you tell your kids to get through your day?

**If you are a mom-or a person- who has gone through life without telling even a little white lie to help you along, we'd love to hear from you.  Please show us the way!

Merry Christmas Everyone!!

Why I Chose Children’s Miracle Network Hospitals 

If you read my recent post on the importance of Christmas memories versus the gifts you buy, you’ll know that this has been a tough year on my family financially.  But one thing I am certain of is that I am one very lucky woman.  I am aware of this day in and day out.  I’m so blessed to have had the gift to conceive without a hitch and then give birth to two healthy boys.  I continue to count my blessings each and every day with the health of my family. 

Just a few days after Trina and I posted about our search for a charity to support, I had a meeting with a woman selling advertising for a radiothon-a pitch I knew I’d be declining on behalf of my boss.  The sales exec detailed that the proceeds of the radiothon would be going to Children’s Miracle Network Hospitals, an organization which raises funds and generates awareness of for the benefit of children and local children’s hospitals.  She illustrated stories of a few children who have benefited from the donations to the organization and suddenly, I was wide-awake in a meeting I initially had little interest in. 

There are so many children out there having to fight for their lives.  Whether they’re two, eight or fifteen; whether its cancer, birth defects, a blood disorder, appendicitis or a broken bone –they are having to find strength and persevere through experiences and hardships I probably have never come close to.  These children are heroes.  And I decided I want to reach out to them.

A strong factor for me in choosing Children’s Miracle Network Hospitals is that donations could stay local.  Medical University of South Carolina Children’s Hospital, the largest and most comprehensive pediatric healthcare system in the state, is just fifteen miles from my front door.  As I plan to raise my children right here in Charleston, I would be proud knowing donations would stay in my community.  However, if you send a lot of followers our way (or not), shoot me an email and tell me which children’s hospital you’d like to see next month’s donations go, and I’d be happy to oblige.

To learn more about Children’s Miracle Network Hospitals, founded by Marie Osmond and her family in 1983, check out their national website.  Stories by the Network’s Champions will enrich your soul-read about the Champion of your state right here! 

Please sign up today to follow our blog.  Not only will our fabulous, often funny and overwhelmingly relatable stories come right into your inbox, but you will be touching a child and their family.  Extra karma for getting your friends and family members to follow us too! ;)

Merry Christmas to you and yours!

Cheers,

Leah

Why I Chose National Children’s Advocacy Center

What better day to talk about charities than Christmas day.  As I stare at my two beautiful and most importantly, protected and safe children open their gifts with anticipation and glee....I can't help but feel a tiny bit of sadness deep inside.  I can’t just spend this day with my family, enjoying such a wonderful holiday while also knowing that there are so many children out there who are abused…mistreated.  Maybe don’t even get a Christmas day because their parents are on drugs, or alcohol…or whatever.  I can’t simply just be on Christmas, or any other day. 

I look at my children, their precious faces…their innocence amazing.  And I think to myself…I would kill for these small beings.  I would do the same for your children.  I would do anything necessary to protect any child in the world.  So I’m putting my money where my mouth is and beginning here.  I urge you to join me!  Stop just being here…stop just living in your own little world.  I know all about it, because I’ve done it for years.  You can make a difference.  If you save one child from being beaten, sexually abused…ONE CHILD.  Even one incident of abuse, its well worth it.  It’s worth a lifetime of sending money, volunteering…whatever is necessary. 

The National Children’s Advocacy Center is the charity I chose due to my passion for protecting children.  Their website is here: http://www.nationalcac.org/.  Take a moment and check it out.  Ever dollar counts.  Their mission statement: Models, Promotes and delivers Excellence in child abuse response and prevention through service, education and leadership.  Also, one of their recent articles: Once again, child sexual abuse allegations have people everywhere shaking their heads in disbelief. Anger and frustration fill the airwaves, news columns, and blogs with questions like "How did this happen?" and "How did it go unreported for so long?"  Many organizations, including the National Children's Advocacy Center (NCAC) have responded to the Penn State Scandal. 

THEIR INFO ON GIVING:  One of the easiest ways that you can help the abused children served by the National Children’s Advocacy Center (NCAC) is by joining our Protectors’ Circle.  Abuse robs its victims of their childhood and the innocence every child deserves.  By making a financial contribution you are helping us better serve as a beacon of hope.  Please make plans to include the NCAC in your annual giving. Please contact Meredith Payne, Development Coordinator at 256-327-3783 or by email mpayne@nationalcac.org This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. for more information.

There are two easy ways that you can make a donation to the Protectors' Circle:

1. By giving online, you can not only donate the easy way, but you can manage your account and update your information, see previous donations, print off tax letters, register for events and much more!
2. Donations can also be sent by mail along with this form (online) to The Protectors' Circle at 210 Pratt Avenue, Huntsville, AL 35801

Merry Christmas from my family to yours...thank you for taking the time to follow our blog, to read our posts...we truly are blessed to have you all in our lives!

Trina

'Tis The Season - The Decision on Giving

Thank you all for your suggestions for charities for us to sponsor.  After much debate, it's come to our attention that Trina and I are, indeed, two separate people!  Shocking - we know!

So we have decided on two organizations to support. 

While we feel strongly about both charities we've chosen, Trina's passion is with The National Children's Advocacy Center and mine is with Children's Miracle Network. 

Beginning today, for each and every new follower to our blog, we will donate .50 to The National Children's Advocacy Center and .50 to Children's Miracle Network.

Stay tuned as we support and promote these charities.

Saving Marriages & Self - A Book That Changes Lives

I began reading Laura Munson’s “This Is Not The Story You Think It Is-A Season of Unlikely Happiness” on a warm Charleston evening in late March, the windows finally opened allowing a warm breeze to dance past the curtains. I couldn’t have known at that moment that this book would serve as my personal reference guide for one of the more challenging years of my life.  How could I know that highlighted passages from that first read would keep me coming back throughout the year to remind me how to fight for my marriage even when we weren’t acting like partners; to focus on inner peace and freedom; and to enjoy my children while not forgetting my own passions in life.

Last night, an unseasonably cold night in October, I found myself flipping through pages scouring for the encouraging messages that meant something to me throughout this year.  When I came across the line, “That’s what this book is all about.  Maybe it will help people. Maybe even save some marriages…” I realized the importance of sharing such a treasure to all the women I can be in touch with.   If this book has served as such a comfort to me, then surely some of you will find her discoveries and experiences as soul-saving as I have.

Whether your current challenge involves resentment towards your husband who seems to be disconnecting from you, career woes, balancing raising a family with holding on to you, or just looking for happiness – you will find endless inspiration in this memoir. 

Seeking true happiness? Stepping up to a new challenge?  Fighting for you?  Here are some tidbits from her book:

·         “This simple truth: the end of suffering happens with the end of wanting.  The end of wanting.”

·         “It’s when you stop wanting things outside of your control that you’ll be happy.”

·         “’The only difference between being published and not being published,” he said, “is being published.”

·         “…we’re still a family. Even when we mess up.  We love each other and we protect each other. And we forgive…”

·         “For anyone in any situation in which one is tempted to go into panic mode, or worse, victim mode, rather than taking responsibility for one’s own well-being.”

·         “Happiness only comes from within.”

·         “The biggest fight, though, is the part where I keep myself happy.  Where I don’t take him personally.”

·         “Follow your instincts. You are going to be okay, no matter what.”

·         “I believe when we act powerfully, we get treated powerfully.”

·         “Finally, I know. You get to the end of suffering. Or you don’t. That’s it.  You Choose.”

If you identify with any of the above quotes, I insist you read her book.  She writes as if she is talking to you, as if she knows exactly what you’re experiencing.  If you find it half as helpful as I did, I will know I’ve done my job as a sister…and a woman…passing on this invaluable resource.  Ladies, go grab a glass of wine, snuggle up with this book and be happy we’re all in this together!

Just Breathe - Lessons Learned on the Anniversary of 9/11

Just after 9:03 a.m. yesterday, I stifled a sob as I watched NBC's coverage of the anniversary of the September 11th tragedy. My family busied around me. At our cottage by the beach...our vacation timeshare...my mom and husband cooked breakfast.  My dad sipped coffee on the balcony.  My two sons raced circles around the kitchen island.  I was engrossed in this telecast straight from Ground Zero.

It hit deep in my soul when a 12-year-old sweet girl was telling her daddy that he was the best ever and will always be in her heart. This daddy left her world when she was just 2.  My boys are about that age. It was at that moment that I truly accepted what my husband had said to me just the night before.

After he had watched a 9/11 documentary, he came to bed and said to me, "We need to be so grateful. We have one another. We have healthy children. We have our lives."  Half asleep, I agreed...mostly wanting to be grateful for lots of sleep.

I often feel like I can be swept up in the challenges of life and that it's hard to find things to be grateful for.  The nights that I remember to thank God for what I have, I am blessed for my family, friends and our health.  I always find a way to go back to...but if I could just make a little more money...or if we could just sell that house...or whatever material wants I can think of a that moment.

Yet, I see it now.  So what if times are tough and the timing is off to sell our house.  We get to watch the joy in our sons' faces as they float on top of wave after salty wave as we vacation at the sea.  Sure, we wish we had a little extra cash so we can afford to redo our kitchen.  But we are able to enjoy a few nice dinners out with the family this week.  Yet again, another fantastic illustration of gratefulness bestowed....we are able to be with our kids, no matter how restless our 21-month-old gets when we go out to eat.  And sure, we hope and pray we can send our boys to the best schools.  But, right now, we are there with him the moment he figures out something challenging and that proud smile emerges on his little face. 



We are lucky.  We are blessed.

Through every tantrum, every cup of spilled crystal light on a clean floor, every exhausted 2am wake up call.  Every single moment you wish you could have just a little space to just breathe.  Just be so grateful for all that you have.  And breathe.

You can.

Breathe.

While They Dream

Some of the most endearing moments in a life filled with children are when it is so quiet.  Sometimes during an ever-frenzied day, it's hard to imagine such calm.  I had a beautiful moment just last week as I checked in on my sleeping boy...

The entire house is quiet except for the white noise of his small fan, his little lips are allowing such sweetness of small breaths to exit his dreaming body.  His blue satin blanket is laced between his fingers and propped across the side of his face.  His long legs which seem to be growing faster than ever, are stretched almost the length of his mattress.  The strands of his curiously blonde hair highlight a frame around his 18-month-old face.

The three meltdowns from earlier and the spilled juice on our newly steamed carpet—almost a distant memory.  The endless account of “no’s” heard throughout the day seem less frustrating now when I look down on my sleeping son.

Who is this little person?  Who is this being that my husband and I lovingly created?  In the madness of a day, it’s so hard to take the time to visit those questions…to really take it in.  The magnitude of what it is to be a mother or a father.  Every lesson taught, every kiss sealed onto their forehead.   Every “I love you” realized. 

You are shaping who they are with every second of the day.  And isn’t it amazing the love that can rise above all the chaos and stress of each day and make it all so very right? 

When looking at my son, I see his body snuggled comfortably in his bed after he’s exerted all of that energy; I see the depth and the magic of his being. 

A child in slumber enhances the mystic delight of being a mom.