A Life of Purpose – Inspiring Guest Post from Cancer Survivor and Real Mom, Heather Von St. James

Written by Guest Blogger Heather Von St. James

When you learn you’ve been diagnosed with cancer, everything changes. Most people never expect to receive such a diagnosis, especially at the age of 36 and having just given birth 3 ½ months prior of your first child.

On Nov. 21, 2005, I was diagnosed with malignant pleural mesothelioma. 

There is nothing worse than hearing “You Have Cancer” during what it is perhaps supposed to be one of the best times of your life. 

Following my diagnosis, I basically felt as though I had two options: give up or curse God and wallow in self-pity screaming “Why Me God!?”

I also had another option: Face the cancer head on.

And that’s what I did. 

So, I decided to toss on those rose-colored glasses and do what any new mother would do: Fight with everything she had so she can watch her little girl grow up. Unfortunately, cancer is like a double-edged sword and anyone else who has been through it will say the same thing. 

While it can be the most devastating news you’ve ever heard, there are still some positives that come out of it as well. My life has now changed for the better because of having gone through cancer. This is simply because I decided I wasn’t going to be one of the victims. Instead, I chose to look at a terrible situation in a different light. It helped take the fear away and I vowed I would help others who were diagnosed with it as well. For whatever the reason, I decided to find the positives of the situation and was sent to see the world’s leading specialist for the disease. The doctor gave me hope.

I learned I was going to have my tumor removed on Groundhogs Day 2006. With that said, I decided to name my tumor Punxatawny Phil and renamed Groundhogs Day, Lungleavin Day. 

Today, we have a party every February and celebrate Lungleavin Day. 

Had it not been for my cancer diagnosis, I would’ve never gotten to know some of the amazing people I’ve met. They are among the strongest and toughest I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing. These people are committed to raising awareness about the disease, which affects so many. From wives to husbands to sons and daughters; all of us know someone who has been affected by cancer is some way, shape or form.

Now my life is filled with more purpose than it has ever been and with that, I want to continue to do what I can to bring the same hope I felt to others.

Heather Von St. James is a guest blogger for the Mesothelioma Cancer Alliance.

Saving Marriages & Self - A Book That Changes Lives

I began reading Laura Munson’s “This Is Not The Story You Think It Is-A Season of Unlikely Happiness” on a warm Charleston evening in late March, the windows finally opened allowing a warm breeze to dance past the curtains. I couldn’t have known at that moment that this book would serve as my personal reference guide for one of the more challenging years of my life.  How could I know that highlighted passages from that first read would keep me coming back throughout the year to remind me how to fight for my marriage even when we weren’t acting like partners; to focus on inner peace and freedom; and to enjoy my children while not forgetting my own passions in life.

Last night, an unseasonably cold night in October, I found myself flipping through pages scouring for the encouraging messages that meant something to me throughout this year.  When I came across the line, “That’s what this book is all about.  Maybe it will help people. Maybe even save some marriages…” I realized the importance of sharing such a treasure to all the women I can be in touch with.   If this book has served as such a comfort to me, then surely some of you will find her discoveries and experiences as soul-saving as I have.

Whether your current challenge involves resentment towards your husband who seems to be disconnecting from you, career woes, balancing raising a family with holding on to you, or just looking for happiness – you will find endless inspiration in this memoir. 

Seeking true happiness? Stepping up to a new challenge?  Fighting for you?  Here are some tidbits from her book:

·         “This simple truth: the end of suffering happens with the end of wanting.  The end of wanting.”

·         “It’s when you stop wanting things outside of your control that you’ll be happy.”

·         “’The only difference between being published and not being published,” he said, “is being published.”

·         “…we’re still a family. Even when we mess up.  We love each other and we protect each other. And we forgive…”

·         “For anyone in any situation in which one is tempted to go into panic mode, or worse, victim mode, rather than taking responsibility for one’s own well-being.”

·         “Happiness only comes from within.”

·         “The biggest fight, though, is the part where I keep myself happy.  Where I don’t take him personally.”

·         “Follow your instincts. You are going to be okay, no matter what.”

·         “I believe when we act powerfully, we get treated powerfully.”

·         “Finally, I know. You get to the end of suffering. Or you don’t. That’s it.  You Choose.”

If you identify with any of the above quotes, I insist you read her book.  She writes as if she is talking to you, as if she knows exactly what you’re experiencing.  If you find it half as helpful as I did, I will know I’ve done my job as a sister…and a woman…passing on this invaluable resource.  Ladies, go grab a glass of wine, snuggle up with this book and be happy we’re all in this together!