Why Write?

Okay, so while I'm researching for a few other articles (there's so much to write about out there that makes me stay up at night, I just wish I had more time to write), I thought I'd address a question I often times get asked.  Why write?  Why write about subjects that are so emotional?  Why write about subjects "I", or actually, the person reading, doesn't care about?  Why write about dark things that we can't change in the world?   Why not write about happy subjects that make everyone smile and giggle?  Don't we have enough stress in our lives?  Why not focus on all the good things and leave out the bad?


Let me start by saying, we are obviously all different.  Use Leah and I as an example; while people refer to me as super mom, I am definitely not super mom.  Leah is super mom.  My sister, she's super mom.  I've never seen more devoted moms, more loving parents.  While I am a devoted and loving parent, I also attempt to balance working 40 hours a week, keeping up my schedule with the blog, twitter, writing to agents on our book, cooking every night so my family lives a longer, healthier life.  Researching articles, meeting up with friends (a must have for my insanity).  So my willingness to try to take on that much naturally sacrifices time with my family (this balance isn't one I can do forever, and I know this).  It makes me sound pretty selfish, but I've convinced myself I'm doing it for the better of my family.  I tell myself daily big successes do not come without hard work (if I don't go insane first).

When you read Leah's articles, you see this reflected.  You see a mother struggling with sleep time, eating new foods, etc.  A mother who wants nothing more than the best for her children and her family. She's constantly analyzing her children's schedules, making sure they don't get too much TV time, making sure they are eating healthy...making sure she's teaching them enough.  If my sister were a writer-it would be the same thing. She's a mom who's mastered many things and has also sacrificed a successful career for the time-being to raise two smart and amazing children.

In my articles you see a plagued mind;  a mind desperate to be changing something, anything in our obliterated world.  Why do I write about things I can't change?  Because to me, the glass is always half full.  I can and will change it, somehow.  Even if it's by awareness, even if it's by getting through to one person, and one person alone...I've succeeded.  Hey, I pray nearly every night for every child to go unharmed.  Do you think I can reach every child?  No, but I will try!  I realize I am a tiny person in this huge world.  I realize, I am not even famous (not a famous writer, yet!) or rich...or successful enough to impact lives like Angelina Jolie can.  But, if I sat around and did nothing, I'd be like many others in the world and then...if we aren't trying to do something-no matter how small, we never will accomplish anything.

I had a friend in Oklahoma who was a foster mom.  She took in children who'd been abused in many ways, and watched them have to go back to the abusing parents time and time again.  She's discuss her frustrations with me in a failed system.  You can have a caring and aggressive social worker with all the right intentions, but if you don't have backing from the courts the child is likely going back.  The decision often rests with a judge, and unfortunately, he's governed by laws which sometimes aren't applicable (at least fairly) to the situation.  As another friend told me the other day, the abusive parent has all the rights, the baby has none.  How disgusting is that?

In every news piece I picture my child, I picture my family.  I want to reach out and save the baby, as I would if it were my own.  I wonder how everyone can't feel that way, and if they do, how they can ignore it as I can't!  I can't forget the hope, I can't let go of the fact that maybe, just maybe...writing about it can change something.  Even if it only makes me feel better doing so for the time being; someday, someone somewhere will be changed.  Or a situation will be changed.  If I'm lucky enough; a life changed.  I will never give up, nor will I give up hope.  ~Trina

*I have to thank Leah for dealing with this crazed passion of mine.  While often times I veer off the beaten path (our book isn't filled with stories of beaten and abused children), I try to always write from a mother's perspective.  She not only accepts this, but encourages me by sending me articles she knows will get me fired up.  A true partner revels in one another's strengths and supports that.  A successful partner goes a step further- they feed that strength.  I'm often telling her "you need to write about that!" when she's filling me in on trying to move with two toddlers, or trying a new sleep routine. By the end I'm often laughing so hard I'm about to pee my pants.  Leah is quite the comedian and can bring a funny light to just about anything.  


While it sounds so simple, it is indeed not easy to find...so thank you Leah!  Together we will do many great and amazing things!

In The Eyes Of My Zealand - Happy 2nd Birthday, Baby!

If you've ever met my little Zealand, you know that this little guy lets very few things upset him.  He is almost always wearing a smile.  From the moment he was born, he has always seemed so happy.  Even under those bili lights, he seemed to chill under the light with his groovy shades on.  Even lately when his big brother throws a good blow to his back or on top of his thigh; he shrugs it off.  Maybe this is what it's like for all second-born children since they have a little less attention from their parents than the first born?  Maybe they just adapt to life with an older sibling always up in their business, after all, that's all they know.  But there is something about Zealand.  An aura.  A calm.  A true sense of wanting to learn from him.

I have had the thought so many times; he seems so wise.  He obviously knows the true secret to a fulfilling life.  While I can get so caught up and stressed about the little things in life.  I dream ahead and I see my Zealand being the kind of successful man who takes life as it comes and turns lemons into lemonades - all with only the best attitude!  He makes me want to be a better person.  On those tougher days, just to see him smile lets me know that things are actually really terrific!

My baby is turning two tomorrow.  He's talking more.  He pooped on the potty willingly - and so proud - twice this week.  His passion is in all things ball; football, basketball, soccerball.  "Ball?  Yeah?" he'll say. He gives the biggest hugs and says he loves me in an adorable and fleeting, "I la la" and gives me his heart.  He'll say hello to anyone and everyone, flashing his pearly whites!  He loves to listen to his dad play guitar.  He loves to try and play his brother's guitar.  He loves music.  He loves to play.  He just loves to be.  I love it all; and all of him.

Happy Birthday, my dear baby boy - Zealand Gabriel Beck Speer <3!

(The song I sing to him almost every night since he was about a month old.)
Zealand, oh, Zealand. 
I love my green-eyed baby.  
Zealand, oh, Zealand. 
I love you forever. 
Zealand, my baby, forever.


...I never said I was a songwriter ;)

:) Leah

"Hollywood Moms Night" - The Next Best Thing To Going Out With Your Girlfriends!

Can’t make it to girls’ night out tonight?  Hollywood Moms Night is the next best thing!  Stay with me, mamas!  I know what you’re thinking…the “Hollywood” makes you think of the Kardashians, private chefs and limousines, 24-hour nannies to moms who’ve never woken up in the middle of the night to their crying gassy babes.   This delightful show isn’t about those Hollywood moms.  It’s about as close to real as I imagine you can get in Hollywood.

The dish is this… if you can’t get out for a dinner party with your girlfriends (and you don’t feel like cleaning your home to host one), just pour a glass of vino and join these moms for a relaxing night in filled with laughter and nods of understanding – you’ll be shouting out:  “I’ve been there!” and “Oh, no she didn’t!”.  Just like us real moms, they enjoy taking the time to get pretty and put on that new dress, delight in bringing their own dishes to the party (who really cares if it was bought or cooked) and just talking about what girls talk about.  From how they met and fell in love with their men to what to call their sons’ privates-I was happy to hear that penis is indeed one of them! 

Known for their fun dinner parties, besties Alison Sweeney and Ali Landry are now hosting these dinners on-camera.  I decided to tune-in because I’ve always been a fan of Alison; I adore her style and down-to-earth persona as seen on The Biggest Loser.  The hour-long premier proved Hollywood Moms Night to be the essence of a real dinner party with real moms!  I love it!  The show even caught Alison having to balance decorating, cooking and dolling up all before and after a day at work.  Sound familiar?  That’s why this show is beautiful…it’s relatable!

It’s what Trina and I are so passionate about.  Real moms being real.  Beautiful.  Strong.  Even sassy – Niecy, we’re talking to you!  As we’ve said in many of our posts, we’re all in this world of motherhood together…we might as well share the great things we find that make us smile, laugh or even just know we’re not alone in some of our crazy motherhood experiences.

If you like reality shows but you’re tired of the over-the-top, over-dramatized, not-a-bit-relatable takes on reality, you have to check this out!  It’s refreshingly gratifying.  So ladies…moms…join me Sundays via TV Guide channel at 8:00 p.m. and let’s raise a glass to real moms, even if they are in Hollywood!

***Going to be up late tonight?  Tune in at 11:00 pm. for a showing of the premiere episode of Hollywood Moms Night on TV Guide Channel!  If not, it looks like they will rerun the premier every day from now until Sunday.

A Letter To My Son On His Third Birthday

My son,

Today you are three.

Your passion and fire captivate me, while your tender heart compliments the whole of who you are becoming.

Luke, you are kind and full of love.  I see it so clearly in the impromptu hugs you tackle your little brother with or the tiny purple flowers you pick for your sweet little friend as you part ways at the playground.  The way you hug me so tight and tell me “you’re my best mommy in my whole, whole world” or the way your eyes light up when you see your daddy drive up from work.  Your excitement shows each night we Skype with your grandparents.

I delight in how you are so precise with your every single move.  The way you line up your Matchbox cars along the window sill.  How you run your “operating room” and have dad or I lay on the floor while you prepare for surgery as you handle each of your instruments one by one; concluding care with a rub on our foreheads as you tell us we’re “actually” going to be just fine.  How it is so rare that you get messy from a cupcake or a popsicle like most preschoolers can’t avoid.  You just take care.

You speak so well and your curiosity to learn encourages me to challenge you.  You point out punctuation and question everything.  You wonder.  You use your e-maj-uh-nay-shun.  With your innocent big smile, you aren’t shy to shout out a “hi” to everyone.  You miss your doggie Bailey; you love your doggie Yukon; and you wouldn’t miss a night without your doggie, whose only name-at almost three years old himself- is doggie.

Your emotions are powerful.  When you want something, you’ll fight for it.  When you disagree with something, you’ll argue it.  When you are sad to leave a group of friends or a super fun time, you are not afraid to throw down.   Bedtime-you’ll play it out until sleep finally wins.

You’ve designated your brother Zealand as “my ZZ” and you’ll jump at the chance to take away whatever toy he’s into at that moment, but you’re also quick to apologize when you get in trouble or to share with him a treat when you are given one.  You like green beans, spaghetti and meatballs, waffles, peanut butter & jelly sandwiches, ham and actually broccoli.   You’re not too fond of any type of potato, macaroni and cheese or rice.  Your favorite “special treats” these days are-to our fault and dismay- pop (that’s what your dad calls it, I call it soda) and gum (sugar-free, of course).       

You love to swim…be it the pool or the ocean.  And we have done so many things this year thanks to the amazing friends we’ve met.  Your first birthday parties, you were the first kid in the cockpit of a helicopter at an event-thanks to your dad, you were a pro this year at trick-or-treating, and you attended your first children’s theater production to which you yelled out to the cast throughout the show (in a good way!) as you smiled ear-to-ear and clapped at all the right parts.

I am so proud of the boy you are turning out to be.  I have cherished every moment of you.  The world is lucky to have you; as am I.  As are we, your family. 

I love you, my Luke.  ~mommy

I love you more than all of the fish in the sea.
You mean the whole world to me.
I love you, Luke.  Oh yes, I do. 
I love you.
I love you.
I do.

(I’ve been singing this song to him since he was just a few days old. Yes, I'm fully aware I am not a lyricist.  I do what works, people.  But I am proud that I came up with something and it stuck...and put him to sleep many-a-night.)

Saving Marriages & Self - A Book That Changes Lives

I began reading Laura Munson’s “This Is Not The Story You Think It Is-A Season of Unlikely Happiness” on a warm Charleston evening in late March, the windows finally opened allowing a warm breeze to dance past the curtains. I couldn’t have known at that moment that this book would serve as my personal reference guide for one of the more challenging years of my life.  How could I know that highlighted passages from that first read would keep me coming back throughout the year to remind me how to fight for my marriage even when we weren’t acting like partners; to focus on inner peace and freedom; and to enjoy my children while not forgetting my own passions in life.

Last night, an unseasonably cold night in October, I found myself flipping through pages scouring for the encouraging messages that meant something to me throughout this year.  When I came across the line, “That’s what this book is all about.  Maybe it will help people. Maybe even save some marriages…” I realized the importance of sharing such a treasure to all the women I can be in touch with.   If this book has served as such a comfort to me, then surely some of you will find her discoveries and experiences as soul-saving as I have.

Whether your current challenge involves resentment towards your husband who seems to be disconnecting from you, career woes, balancing raising a family with holding on to you, or just looking for happiness – you will find endless inspiration in this memoir. 

Seeking true happiness? Stepping up to a new challenge?  Fighting for you?  Here are some tidbits from her book:

·         “This simple truth: the end of suffering happens with the end of wanting.  The end of wanting.”

·         “It’s when you stop wanting things outside of your control that you’ll be happy.”

·         “’The only difference between being published and not being published,” he said, “is being published.”

·         “…we’re still a family. Even when we mess up.  We love each other and we protect each other. And we forgive…”

·         “For anyone in any situation in which one is tempted to go into panic mode, or worse, victim mode, rather than taking responsibility for one’s own well-being.”

·         “Happiness only comes from within.”

·         “The biggest fight, though, is the part where I keep myself happy.  Where I don’t take him personally.”

·         “Follow your instincts. You are going to be okay, no matter what.”

·         “I believe when we act powerfully, we get treated powerfully.”

·         “Finally, I know. You get to the end of suffering. Or you don’t. That’s it.  You Choose.”

If you identify with any of the above quotes, I insist you read her book.  She writes as if she is talking to you, as if she knows exactly what you’re experiencing.  If you find it half as helpful as I did, I will know I’ve done my job as a sister…and a woman…passing on this invaluable resource.  Ladies, go grab a glass of wine, snuggle up with this book and be happy we’re all in this together!