And Then There Was Kindergarten...

The majority of us strive to be great parents.  We do our best to prepare our children for life, for failure and success, for love and heartache, for the ups and down they will inevitably face as time goes on.  Each stepping stone is one to be proud of; each new tooth, or smile...each word or sentence said with glee.  We think these days will last forever...even though we're told time and time again they won't.

The first day of Kindergarten was one I knew would be emotional and exciting.  I prepared mentally for it at preschool graduation, as trivial as that may sound to some.  In anticipation of the big day, we prepared the backback, the outfit.  We painted nails and discussed hairstyles.  We planned on the a.m. photo-ops, for there would be pictures to remember this moment.  The only thing I hadn't planned on was the gigantic, black eye Callie got falling down at Walmart the Saturday before...however that was a small speck in the horizon compared to the huge changes that awaited us.

I made pancakes, and we ran around like chickens with our heads cut off, trying to get in our new routine.  Clayton was tired and didn't want to get up; Shannon was hustling after me and instructing me constantly we will be late if you don't hurry, as if he was used to getting up and getting the kids ready everyday.  Callie walked out the door with a belly full of her favorite breakfast, her hair curled perfectly, and a different outfit than I'd picked out...a much plainer one than I preferred, but a cute one all the same.  We were ready.

We walked our five-year-old up to the school along with hundreds of other parents, ready to confront this new phase in life.  Clayton didn't have pants on, and I had wild hair and smudged mascara.  We may have looked like the trashy, crazy parents we all eye with their children in Walmart and wonder if we should call CPS...but we didn't care.  This was our day.  My baby's day.  I heard all the thoughts running through my brain-Have you succeeded mom? Have you truly prepared her for everything she will face? Is she ready for the trials and tribulations school is sure to bring?

I kissed Callie goodbye, and Callie being Callie, barely noticed.  She was already ready to have fun and play...make new friends and enjoy the newness of school.  I didn't blink a tear.  I'd cried the night before a little when I thought about dropping her off, a little sniffle...sniffle...and then it was over.  I did cry on the ride home though when Clayton kept asking for his sister.  Sissy!  Sissy!  And of course I welted up again when he ran first thing into her room after we got home and crawled under her covers in her pink bed.  How could I help it?

We are only on day two, and I'll have you know, I'm not crying.  I'm preparing a schedule and getting ready to plan some great things for Clayton and I to enjoy together...just the two of us. I'm excited for Callie to start bringing home school work and other things that will keep her brain going; keep her busy.  I'm ready to help assist in the classroom and PTA as needed, even though I never really pictured myself a PTA mom...I want to be involved.

I'm realizing and accepting; I am so that mom.  I'm the crying, sniffling, bumbling idiot I always made fun of before I had kids.  Why is she crying?  They are in preschool!  They still have naps!  Good lord. What will she do when they graduate from highschool or get married?  Have a heart attack?  Well, I may just have a heart attack, thank you very much!   ~Trina

A Mommy’s School Bus Jitters

Originally Posted 8/11/11

If you're a mom about to bid adieu to your little one as they climb aboard that big yellow heartbreaker for the very first time, I wish you well.  I have no idea what it’s actually going to be like watching my son get on the bus to head to Kindergarten for the first time, but I do know it’s not going to be easy if I’m crying about it now and he’s only 21 months old. 

We read a few books every night at bedtime, and lately, our favorite book has been “Best Baby Ever” by David Milgrim.  In it, the parents are mesmerized as their baby grows from his first smile until ultimately, they watch him get on the school bus for the very first time with tears in their eyes.  I’m telling you, I’ve read this book probably every night at least once, for the last couple of months.  Yet, tonight, I couldn’t hold it back.  It seems like just yesterday when I had my little 7 lb 7 oz newborn baby boy.  He’s already grown so fast and if time continues to fly like this, I’ll soon be watching a five-year-old get on the bus.

My voice starts to shake as I continue to read this particular night; but I toughen up and tell the story until the end without my son noticing my voice choking up.  I conclude as I wipe the tears from my face that Kindergarten is a long way off, and I’m going to enjoy every single minute with my baby until then.  But, really, I know it's just right around the corner...on the corner some of you'll be standing on this month. 

In so many ways we can't wait to see our children grow into the people they are going to be; yet we want to keep them little.  Hug your little Kindergartner before they get on that bus and enjoy that moment for what it is.  A milestone.  A treasured memory.  And if you find yourself lost in a quiet house, go treat yourself to a hot stone massage!

Preschool Graduation

Preschool graduation was held last night, and as she is with anything...Callie was super excited.  We'd bought her a new dress, put her hair up and curled it, and packed an extra matching bow.

Since I've never done preschool graduation, I assumed it would just be a little bbq at the park and playing.  While I am usually excited to do anything new with my kids, I slightly dreaded this large event, swarming with young children and parents chasing after them.  I imagined Clayton trying to scale the large slides, and throwing a fit as we tried to corral him for two and a half hours.

This is how it started out of course, and by the time they called out for the preschool graduates, I was exhausted from chasing either Clayton (I was accurate, he kept heading to the gigantic slide), or Callie, who was chasing boys by the creek (and the mud).

We all huddled around the line of teachers, who handed out graduation caps to our little ones that were heading off to kindergarten.  While the caps were only half the size of the one I received in highschool, I still felt a little sad.  I know this is the only the beginning of the slew of things that will be ending and new beginnings in my baby's life...but this is one I'm truly sad to let go of.  First of all, it went entirely too fast...and I'm pretty sure I was too stressed about work, or a clean house, or just life in general to really take it all in.  Secondly, I felt attached to these teachers.

I often times hear people say, I don't want to take my kids to a church school, I don't want them pushing their religious ideas off on my kids.  However, God is not a religion, period.  These teachers are so wonderful, warm...and loving - they themselves represent God in everything they do.  Religion is about things you can't do, or judgement.  God himself is about things you can do, love, and forgiveness.  While I think many people confuse religion with God, Callie's preschool teachers do not.  They pray for our children, they tell the story of how Jesus died on the cross (which is in the Bible itself)....but above all they just love and nurture our babies so they are ready for the next phase in their life.  To me, they bring the best of what God has to offer and we as families can take it or  leave it.  It's not pushed, and I believe, we'd be foolish not to accept.

I watched Callie enthusiastically put on her graduation cap, smile her cute little smile, and when they called her up to the front, she bounced up there with glee.  The teacher had something wonderful to say about each child.  They started with one word, then explained in a few sentences that did not define our child, but that could explain a few of their traits.  One boy was charming, and often told each teacher they were beautiful.  When Callie got up there, I held my breath in anticipation, as though we were at her college graduation and she would be heading off to law school.

"Teacher.  Callie's word is teacher because she's constantly teaching.  She's teaching the other kids, she's teaching the teachers.  We always have one or two of them...they are the ones that could run the classroom.  She could probably run this whole event!"
While I didn't cry, I felt like it.  It honestly didn't matter what that pretty teacher had said, I'd felt pride for each and every parent as she described their children as well.  There's something about being singled out and having your special traits displayed for a group to see.  It's something to be proud of, no matter who you are.

As we drove home, I realized I better take in this next year each day at a time...because I realized these milestones are just going to keep flying by, and before we know it, we'll be sitting at her highschool graduation....and I will be crying!

The Day I Never Thought Would Come

I think we'd all agree we picture our babies staying babies, forever. We picture helping them get dressed, feeding them, brushing their teeth, with little glee and maybe even a bit of annoyance more often times than not...as though these days will never end. We think, as much as we love these little beings, they will depend on us forever.

So today, at kindergarten registration, I found myself staring at the concrete block walls inside the huge elementary school just a few blocks from our house.  I pictured my daughter running and playing there, meeting new friends and learning to read.  I knew in that moment that before long, she'd be rushing away when I dropped her off before school, no longer begging for a kiss or a hug as she does now.  She'd be more stubborn about wearing what she wanted, mismatched clothes or a dress on a snowy morning.  She'll likely come home with tears because a little boy broke her heart, or the mean girl at school ridiculed her.

I know I no longer can protect her the way I have. The home daycare with a woman that loves her nearly as much as I do.  Or the wonderful preschool teachers that think she's the sweetest little girl that's full of spunk and life, and encourage her in that.  It's just one step in this huge, gigantic world for her, and I'm scared to death.  I realize I have to let her go, and be excited for her...and I am in some ways.  I'm ready to help her with homework and assist in her class from time to time.  I'm ready for sports and new friends...and for her to get to experience this next new phase in life.

The real fear is deep rooted because I know that from here, it's only going to fly by faster.  Pretty soon I'm going to have to explain boys, the "mean" girls in school, sex, drugs, alcohol, peer pressure.  These are all things as mothers of young children we simply don't anticipate to come so quickly.  One moment we are complaining about diaper and bottle duty...the next, dropping them off for their first real day of school.

Mommies, soak in all the moments with those kiddos while you can...because as many times as I've heard it will fly by and be gone before you know it, I still wasn't ready for this day.  Imagine what a mess I'll be the first day of school!

A Mommy’s School Bus Jitters

If you're a mom about to bid adieu to your little one as they climb aboard that big yellow heartbreaker for the very first time, I wish you well.  I have no idea what it’s actually going to be like watching my son get on the bus to head to Kindergarten for the first time, but I do know it’s not going to be easy if I’m crying about it now and he’s only 21 months old. 

We read a few books every night at bedtime, and lately, our favorite book has been “Best Baby Ever” by David Milgrim.  In it, the parents are mesmerized as their baby grows from his first smile until ultimately, they watch him get on the school bus for the very first time with tears in their eyes.  I’m telling you, I’ve read this book probably every night at least once, for the last couple of months.  Yet, tonight, I couldn’t hold it back.  It seems like just yesterday when I had my little 7 lb 7 oz newborn baby boy.  He’s already grown so fast and if time continues to fly like this, I’ll soon be watching a five-year-old get on the bus.

My voice starts to shake as I continue to read this particular night; but I toughen up and tell the story until the end without my son noticing my voice choking up.  I conclude as I wipe the tears from my face that Kindergarten is a long way off, and I’m going to enjoy every single minute with my baby until then.  But, really, I know it's just right around the corner...on the corner some of you'll be standing on this month. 

In so many ways we can't wait to see our children grow into the people they are going to be; yet we want to keep them little.  Hug your little Kindergartner before they get on that bus and enjoy that moment for what it is.  A milestone.  A treasured memory.  And if you find yourself lost in a quiet house, go treat yourself to a hot stone massage!