Advice From Books or Friends - Who Do You Trust More?

Happiest Baby On The Block? 

I laughed the other day with a good friend from college.  We were remembering a call I made to her a little over three years ago.  I was crying to her after I finally got a two-week-old Luke down for a nap.  “He’s not the happiest baby on the block! What am I doing wrong?! I’ve read the book cover to cover.  I’m sticking to their schedule. But he’s still waking up too early for his feeding and I can’t just let him cry and not eat if he’s hungry!” She laughed at me.  Yep, straight up, no holds barred, laughed at me which immediately shocked me out of my upset. This mother of three under the age of ten knew better.  “You cannot use any of these books as the end-all, be-all. Every child is different. Every home is different!” Another friend got so mad when I told her how I was feeling that she yelled into the phone that she wished these books didn’t exist at all.  That they seem to frustrate everyone rather than help.  “That’s what we’re here for! Your friends who have been through it!”  She went on to give me the same advice about each child being different and to go with my instinct.

Luke - Sweetly Sleeping

After having two sons back to back (14 ½ months apart), I can really appreciate that each and every child has his or her own way of doing things. Their own schedule. Luke would eat alittle and then sleep a little.  Then eat a little more and sleep a little more.  Zealand would eat and eat and then sleep hard.  Then wake up and eat like he hadn’t eaten in hours! Luke was vocal if he barely wet his diaper, when he was cold or too warm, anything that made him uncomfortable.  Zealand seemed to just chill.  It’s just who they were and indeed, who they are today.

Little Zealand - Chillin' with a smile

If you’re an expectant mom, a new mom or even a veteran mom reading up on each new stage of child rearing, take it from me and read the books out there.  But use these books as guides and follow your heart.  Do what feels right to you and what is right for your family. No book can tell you exactly what to do in every situation for each individual child. Although, I was always looking for that book. Often times your girlfriends do have the advice that will guide you through your experiences. So go ahead and give your girls a call!

Bros with their daddy-o

Facing Your Fears (and Why It's Important)

As I’ve written already, Mexico was a complete blast.  It was everything I’d imagined and more…and since I’m quite the optimist this is saying a lot!

Before I even went on my trip, I decided I was going to zipline.  Since with each year of age I've become more frightened of anything above the second story of my home, this is a big deal.  You see, I used to be the girl who took chances.  I was the one who was never afraid of anything, and if I was, I sure wasn’t going to admit it!

I remember getting a tongue ring on a trip to Wyoming with a group of girlfriends who were also supposed to get them.  The lady was cracked out and apparently up on an night meth-binge…but I didn’t care.  I said I was doing it, and by God, I was doing it.  So I went first and guess what…I was the only one who went home with a tongue ring.  Hey, I didn’t blame my friends, I was crazy!

Or, the first trip to Mexico I took where I went para-sailing.  I had to be the first one to go as my friends were all skeptical.  And I didn’t act the least bit scared when the driver of the boat almost sent my flying into a group of buildings on the beach on my descent back.

Somehow, after birthing two children I’ve decided I’m a scaredy cat.  I don’t go on the huge water slides at the parks.  I don’t even ride the roller coasters anymore…my old favorite!  It’s like now I have two very small beings I’m responsible for, and I don’t want to do anything crazy.  Period!  The interest is no longer there to prove I’m the tough girl.  It drives my husband crazy!  He misses the old me.

So, you see my point at the wildness of deciding to zipline…and then on top of that, rappelling from 70 feet in the air.  But, as I try to soar upwards with my dreams, I realize I have to face my fears.  I can’t run from things that scare me anymore; I have to face them head on. 

So, there I went up what seemed like a billion flights of rickety wooden stairs (in the wind, mind you), in the middle of the jungle.  With each step the fear was crawling up, threatening to engulf and nearly immobilize me.  But, I kept on to the top.  I watched Shannon step off the platform of the tower, backwards, secured by only a rope and with a smile on face.  I kept thinking, go back Trina-this is crazy.

But, I didn’t go back.  I didn’t look down.  I stepped off the edge with my heart racing, hoping I wouldn’t plummet down to my most certain death, and rappelled the 70 feet without a hitch.  Ziplining came next-it was much easier.  I felt free, flying over the beautiful jungle and who knows how fast…not a care in the world.

You see I overcame a major obstacle that day…I decided that nothing is going to stop me…ever.  I’m going to take my fears and face my hurdles head on, ready to jump.  Nothing and no one is going to get in the way of me achieving what I want in this wonderful journey we call life.  It may get scary at times, but as I learned, I can handle fear and ultimately turn it to triumph.   ~Trina

The Anti-Chicken Fingers Movement ~ Buffalo Chicken Rolls.

When Leah asked me to post her recipe, I jumped in glee!  Clayton has an ear infection, so I'm home for the second day this week and while he's napped, I've gotten stuff done (nothing insurance I'll have you know!).  There's many things I love as I'm quite the lover anyway-but oh, man how I love cooking (when  I have the time) and just food in general.  Leah, no worries girl - get your packing done for the big move, you are in good hands.  Here's our Wednesday recipe.  As always I'm trying to provide you healthy yet yummy.  The name deceiving? No worries, it's good for you so indulge!  Dinner, party, whatever you want...sounds like an appetizer but I have such a weakness for buffalo chicken, I've had for dinner with just a side salad!  

Ingredients

10 egg roll wrappers

1 - 2 chicken breasts

1/2- 2/3 cup hot sauce

1 cup cole slaw

1 cup cheddar cheese chunks or shredded (light or 2%)

Ranch dressing, for dipping (I suggest making your own or buying from a local restaurant)

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees

If you have enough room, you can lay out your egg roll wrappers and do this assembly line style
Lay out the wrapper and put some cole slaw on there, towards one corner of the wrapper 

Top with chicken & top with cheese
Fold the bottom up, then the left and right corners in, and roll it up!
Dab your finger in water and rub it along the edge to seal. - Repeat!

Now, put a cooling rack on top of a baking sheet and you're almost ready to go.
Spray everything down with some nonstick, then put your little rolls on top
Give them a little shower of the spray too, for a little extra moisture.

Put them in for 12 to 15 minutes, or until golden brown.

Serve with ranch!

Happy Eating Friends ~ Trina

A Valentine's Ode To Us - The Fabulous Do-It-All Moms

In honor of Valentine’s Day, an ode to us – the fabulous, beautiful, amazing, do-it-all women that we are!

Imagine the following being spoken in the voice of the amazing Barry White!

Woman, you do it all.


From dawn til dusk
You never stop
Even when the sun sets
You’re still on top ;)


Our children wouldn’t survive 
If it weren’t for you, love
Brushing and baths 
We’d sure to be rid of


You take them to the doc
And the dentist too
We need to refinance?
It’s all on you!


You got nothing but time
When you’re home all day
During our kids’ long naptime
You can clean away 


Got milk? 
No? We’re out?
I’m sure you can stop 
It’ll be on your route


Once the kids go to bed
You are too sweet
To let me have the remote
Can you grab me a treat?


Uh huh, oh yeah
What’s that you say
Yes, I’m listening!
You were talking about your day


You’re laying in bed now
So relaxed and sweet
I bet I know just what you want
That’s my hand slippin’ under the sheet


I think to myself
As I close my eyes
You’re such a champion
I’m the luckiest of guys


Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day
I may actually forget
And if I do
Please let me admit


That I treasure and love you
For all that you do
You’ll know it from this verse
That I am lucky to have you

Circ. 2001 - True Love!  Awww!

If I don’t meet your expectations
When the tomorrow’s sun is set
Forgive me, I’m a man
But I’m forever in your debt.


I appreciate you!
Until we’re old and gray.
And if I don’t actually say it
Happy Valentine’s Day!


Dedicated to my sweet, appreciative, and loving husband-MY man-who really does try!  I love you!!

The Anti-Chicken Fingers Movement~ Spinach Strawberry Salad

I've never really been one to order fruit with my salad..  However - at a dinner party about a year ago a friend made me try her spinach salad with cranberries on it....and I loved it.  Although this doesn't necessarily account a a full meal, it's a great side to a light dish such as chicken or pork.  It's also fabulous for a something quick you can throw together.

Ingredients

• 6 oz (approx 6 cups) baby spinach leaves
• 1 pint (approx. 16 medium-size) fresh strawberries, hulled and quartered or sliced
• 1/4 cup thinly sliced red onion
• 1/4 cup crumbled feta cheese
• 3-4 tablespoons poppy seed dressing (see below instructions)
• 1/2 cup candied pecan pieces (you can buy these at the store or use just regular pecans)

Directions

In large bowl, toss spinach, strawberries, onion, and cheese with dressing. Sprinkle candy pecan pieces on top just before serving (so they remain crisp).

Ingredients

• 1/4 cup grated/minced red onion (half of a small onion)
• 1/2 cup white wine vinegar
• 1/4 to 1/2 cup sugar, to taste (you can substitute 1/2 truvia & 1/2 sugar for less sugar)
• 1 teaspoon dry mustard
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1/2 cup olive oil
• 1/2 cup canola oil (yes, I splurged and used this)
• 1-1/2 teaspoons poppy seeds

3 EASY WAYS TO MIX THE DRESSING:
--Mince the onion. Add vinegar, sugar, mustard, & salt to the blender or food processor and mix until combined. Add the oils. Blend until well mixed (this is important!). Add poppy seeds and pulse just until mixed.
--In a bowl. Whisk together vinegar, sugar, mustard, salt, minced onion, and poppy seeds until well combined. Continue whisking while adding the oils in a thin stream. Keep whisking until well combined.
--In a jar. Add everything except the 2 oils to the jar. Cover and shake to combine. Add 2 oils and shake vigorously until well combined.

If too thick, may be thinned by whisking in water a tablespoon at a time until desired consistency.

Television and Our Children

Alright, mamas!  Let's take a look at what are kiddos are watching on TV.  The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends children under the age of two not watch any television and that children older than two watch 1 to 2 hours per day of quality programming.* Yet so many of the moms I talk to are similar to me and, at the very least, have their television on as background noise.  And when we do let our kids watch TV, many of us rely on Nick Jr. and Disney to be said "quality" programming.  But are these characters the best role models for our children?  Let's take a look at a few, shall we?

Study #1 - Blue's Clues (Role Model: Joe)
Seriously, sometimes these characters act like they aren't any older than three themselves.  Just the other day, Joe (I always want to call him Steve) was trying to teach our young about what we do when we wake up in the morning.  The first thing is to "do, do do, do, do"...did you catch that middle "do do"...is go potty.  So he's leading us through the motions like he's in charge, but after Blue does his deed, Joe can't remember what to do next.  He looks so confused and looks directly at my son for help as he scratches his chin.  "Hmmm, what are we supposed to do next?" Then a little kids voice from inside the TV calls out, "FLUSH!" And all of a sudden, Joe is reminded, "right, flush!" And he smiles and sings his "do do" song.  Sure, we all forget things from time to time.  Understood.  But then seconds later as he's coaching Blue through washing his hands, he looks all sorts of confused again and asks, "what do we wash?" to which some child shouts out, "hands!"  Really, Joe?  You couldn't remember that we wash our hands after we go potty.  This is quite disturbing to me now.  And this isn't the first episode like this...he's confused and at a loss for words in most.  Beware, mothers.  Beware.

Study #2 - Dora The Explorer (Role Model: Dora)
Here we have a really cute, likable young lady.  I won't go into it now how her hairstyle bugs and that she should think about changing her outfit every now and then, but I do want to talk about her attentiveness.  One episode that concerned me was when several watermelons were rolling down a hill or mountain and she was more concerned with looking back at the camera and asking my children to tell her to jump than she was about just watching for the dang fruit and jumping for herself.  The lessons being taught her are to ask your friends for help rather than be responsible for yourself and doing what you need to do to take care of business. Same with her relationship with Swiper.  She's always asking for help to lookout for this crazy thief, but nine times out of ten he's right behind her.  If she'd just be a little more vigilant, she might get further in life. Just sayin'.

Study #3 - Special Agent Oso (Role Model: S.A. Oso) 
Here we go again with a leader of kidville acting as the leader, then proving that he falls short in so many ways.  The episode that sticks out here is when he riding on some sort of super fast subway and opens the door so that two of his Agent buddies can ride their motorcycles up into the craft.  Someone tells him to wrap it up and he doesn't shut the door in time and the subway's open door clips the wall of a tunnel and stops the rail machine from moving any further.  Clearly, costing the city and tax payers mucho dinero!  But before he can deal with this crisis, he's being called half way across the world to help a little girl pick strawberries or catch a ball or something.  When he gets there to help her, he calls for help from our children to help him figure out the steps, even though his palm pilot gives them to him.  I guess the good news is after he learns from our kids, he goes back to his agency and fixes the major problem at hand.  Whew!

Study #4 - Dino Dan (Role Model: Dan)
First of all, where is his dad?  They never get around to that!  And I'm not crazy about how he rolls his eyes at his mom almost every time she says something to him.  But, what I'm really worried about is how bossy little Dan can get sometimes.   When he's not telling his little whiny brother what to do, he's bossing Angie around. Go here. Go do this.  Go get that.  To which she willingly agrees with a smile.  But the craziest part is every time she comes back, she finds out she just missed seeing a dino.  Wouldn't you think the next time, she'd tell Dan to go take care of something for himself for once so she can get a glimpse of a brachiosaurus?

Study #5 - Fresh Beat Band (Role Model: Marina)
No, no, no! I'm not going to get into the fact that the first actress who played Marina got preggers and left the show.  Gasp!  (I had to Google "Marina +Fresh Beat +where is she now" to find that out!)  Anyway, kids aren't dumb.  You can't replace a character with someone who clearly doesn't look like the old character and call them the same person.  At least Blue's Clues got a Joe instead of Steve.  They didn't try to pass of Joe as Steve.  So how can the Fresh Beats do this to our kids?  "Mom, why are they calling that girl Marina?" Now my son hasn't said that yet, but I know he's thinking it.

My point here is this.  These shows can take it step higher.  Dan, involve Angie every now and then.  She's woman, here her roar!  And maybe then she can share in those magical moments when you hear a dinosaur roar (do they roar???).  These shows don't have to manipulate our kids.  Fresh Beat, you don't have to try and trick our kids into believing your new Marina is the old Marina.  If their parents are doing a good enough job at home, they won't find out that the old Marina got preggo.  It's a TV show, so you could just write in the story that Marina left for college and look, there's a new girl in town named Jenny or Kaitlyn.  These shows don't have to interact with our children.  Can't we do enough as parents where they aren't looking for that kind of connection from TV?  Do they need characters talking TO them and looking directly AT them? I'm just concerned that when our kids are 22 they'll be wondering why Ross and Rachel aren't asking them questions when they're watching reruns of that classic show from the 1990s.  Or they'll feel unappreciated when the dude from House doesn't ask them for their medical opinion. Or why Norm doesn't shout out their name when they walk into the room.  (I know, now I'm getting a little dated...but they may watch an episode or two of Cheers.)

Of course, if you know me, I'm not at all serious about this.  It's just funny to me at 6 in the morning when these characters are shouting out questions to my sons and I'm trying to get a few more zzz's on the couch.  Or the fact that I really did wonder what happened to the "old" Marina.  So you know, I do limit the amount of TV watched though I admit that it's almost always on as background noise and I plan on changing that with our move.  So I hope you enjoyed this post and if you have any mentions from these or other kiddie shows/cartoons, things that just drive you crazy about a show, I'd love love love to hear them!  Thanks for reading!  I hope you laughed a little.  


*Parents Urged Again To Limit TV For Youngest

A Little Much Needed R&R in Mexico

Well after being together over eight years, married nearly seven; a serious vacation was past due for my husband and I.  We were both cranky, tired, sick of working…and ready for a break from our kiddos that we adore so much. 

As mother’s, we feel responsible to always be the ones that are there for our kids, our families.  We feel guilty for taking any time, especially enough time, to ourselves.  We struggle with the internal battle of control and missing them, and desperately needing time to ourselves.

Then, you throw a marriage into the mix.  That marriage also needs to be nurtured and cared for.  Okay, so where do I find all this time?  I don’t.  Thus, The Seven Year Itch Story, the Doing It All story, and many other articles I write based on my crazy life.  We don’t have enough time, so at least one item or relationship in our lives is always lacking attention. 

My mom agreed to watch our children while my husband and I went to Cozumel, Mexico for seven nights.  Of course, the day she was to arrive Washington State got struck with a huge snow and ice storm, delaying her for nearly three days—and thus her not arriving until after I had already left for our trip.  Thankfully a close friend agreed to keep both my kids, and while Clayton did get sick in between, everyone survived and my mom finally made it.

Enter paradise.  This is literally where we stayed…a beautiful white sandy beach and crystal blue see-through waters.  I spent lazy days reading books and magazines, laying either poolside or oceanside, whatever my little heart desired.  When we got bored, we took long walks on the  beach, collecting sea shells for our daughter and watching the waves crash in.

There were a few fun excursions including snorkeling and ziplining and rapelling (the last two are an entire article in itself) but the best moments were on the beach, relaxing and not having a care in the world.  No wonder my life is so stressful!  All I do is run and stretch myself thin 24/7.  I realized that we all need a little R&R, no matter how short of a trip—we all need it.  Our kids will survive.

Shannon and I had several deep talks…the kind you never have time for when you have little ones running around.  We realized—we are indeed so different.  And we have both compromised many things to be together; which that in itself is a miracle.  However with all of our different views on life, certain aspects of religion, child-rearing, etc—we have so many views we see the same.  And the end destination is the same.  To be together, with a happy whole family.  We realized we need this time apart once in awhile to get back to that.  To find that inner peace we’ve been missing…the peace that we haven’t had in a long time.

So why wait so long?  Mostly money.  We either were having babies or were just starting our careers.  Now, we are at a place financially we can go on trips a couple times a year.  However, to be honest…we could have been going a long time ago.  All I had to do was cut out a little Starbucks, save a few dollars by cutting back at the grocery store…start a trip fund.  Even if it was for only a night or two…it’s well worth it.

I would definitely suggest longer than a few nights if you can, but if you can’t…you at least need a couple away.  Don’t feel guilty…yes you’ll miss your kids but they will be fine.  I found this peace after giving my mind a rest…a peace again I haven’t felt in years.  I am calmer at work…I actually enjoyed a full day of fun with the kids after getting back with little fuss of the house, or cleaning…etc.  While each family is different, I believe to sustain a happy relationship and self-sanity; we all need a little R&R.