"Me" Time - Right From The Start!

I'm not talking about a feeding schedule or sleep.

I'm talking about getting yourself some free time. Some alone time. Some me time.

Having your first baby is new for both you and your spouse. Adjustments need to be made. Here's my thought.  That very first Saturday after you bring baby home (unless you bring your baby home on Friday, maybe you should shoot for that 2nd Saturday), take the afternoon off.  Even if you have to pump out some milk for a feeding, get out by yourself. Hubby is going to need the one-on-one hands-on experience anyway, why not now?

The next Saturday, let your man go play golf guilt-free.

The following Saturday, it's your turn.  Go see a movie with your girlfriends.

You get the pattern?  If life as a parent starts off like this, then it's the norm.  OF COURSE, mom gets time for herself will just be how it is in your house.  Once your baby can be away from you longer, take more than the afternoon off.  And every other week you know it's your day.  Then you can go ahead and plan ahead for drinks with the ladies and your husband can do the same-no, not drinks with the ladies, but probably more golf.

If you're not a new mom and this plan sounds great to you, start it now! How can it be wrong if both mom and dad get time out.  Then he can't roll his eyes at you because you want a break - he just had his!  And maybe his idea of time off is laying on the couch all day watching golf.  Then that just means you take your kiddos to the park for a long afternoon and maybe a picnic.

They say it's about give and take.  So give him his and take yours and relax already!  ~ Leah

The New Vacation - Life After Baby

“The New Vacation” is a peek inside the experience of many a new mothers this summer. No doubt, these  moms are looking forward to what they remember as vacation pre-baby to find out that no matter who is accompanying them, she is still the mom.  Vacation isn’t what it used to be...

The New Vacation

Webster’s dictionary defines it as “a respite.”  And that’s what I’ve always experienced in my annual beach vacations since I was a child.  Should I have known that it’d be different now that I had a child?  Well…not exactly.  I mean, I tallied the family and friends that would be there.  No doubt excited to hold and play with a baby so I’d get the ample relaxation I’ve worked hard for over the past 10 months.  I imagined sitting on the beach, gazing at the ocean (or a People magazine) while my little babe slept in that nifty beach tent I bought last week.  Visions of those wonderful guiltless vacation dinners swirled in my mind with images of Grandma or Grandpa entertaining our son as my husband and I sat back with a glass of wine.  I also pictured my baby so exhausted from the day’s events that he’d fall asleep at bed-time and sleep through the night. 

   The following is what vacation actually felt like this year.

   We arrived at the hotel just in time to unwind and catch up with family for a bit before going out for a casual dinner.  Prepared with milk and a variety of Gerber jars, we enjoyed cheeseburgers and fries at one of our favorite ocean front joints.  Near the end, just when he started to get fussy, Grandma took him outside to get some fresh air and to look at the tiki lights.  So far…so good.

   Back at the resort, I lay with our son as he guzzled a bottle of milk and drifted off to slumber.  We had a Pack N Play just the right size for him and I’d made sure to pad it with plenty of fluff, including his favorite blanket and his stuffed doggie.  Other familiarities of home included his turtle nightlight and a fan for noise.  I was so prepared!!!  I joined my parents, their best friends and my husband for a board game and some cervezas.  But I was shocked to find that with every excited shout, or high-five or tipsy burst of laughter, I tensed up. 

   Don’t wake up my baby, I thought.  Don’t they realize how loud they’re being?  Don’t they know who has to spend an hour getting him back to sleep if they wake him?  If I did join in on the fun, it’d be with a hushed giggle or just a nervous smile.  I wanted to cry.  Maybe if I showed them I was being quiet, they’d follow suit.  No deal!  Nobody cared.  Not even my husband seemed concerned.  (Or everyone realized that the baby probably will sleep through anything or would possibly wake up even if there was total silence.  So they were going to enjoy their vacation anyway.) 

   Finally, it was time to go to bed.  With our heads on the pillow, my husband and I kissed good-night, and I started to unwind.  Then he starts.  Not my son…my husband.  He’s snoring!  I always wear earplugs at home and can somehow manage.  But the baby!  Sure enough, our son wakes up to the noise (which the following year he would shout out – “Truck!” when hearing his dad’s snoring).  It’s close to 1:00 a.m.; he’s crying and I’m very aware that everyone in the house is trying to sleep and we’re in such close quarters. I panic.  I cry silently. I change his diaper, grab another bottle and curl up on the couch.  It’s freezing.  No doubt that the men in this place have cranked up the air.  So I shiver, figuring all the blankets were in the various bedrooms.  At least I’d grabbed Luke’s blankie to keep him warm.   Together, we eventually fell asleep.  Like clockwork, he is up and ready to go at 6:00 a.m.  If every night is going to be like this, it’s going to be a long week and coffee will inevitably be my best friend!

   Now we get to enjoy our first official day.  My mom wants to go to shopping this morning.  Immediately I feel guilty for asking my husband to spend our first morning of vacation with our baby.  I know I shouldn’t but I do.  And then I question my thoughts for doubting that I should.  Though I’m happy to be spending one-on-one time with my mom, I can’t get my mind off my baby boy.  We rush back, sooner than we would’ve in the past, just in time to give him his bottle for his morning nap.  Everyone is heading to the beach now; I assure them I’m happy to stay in the room while he sleeps.  Maybe I’ll nap a little, too.  And I do. 

   Before I know it, it’s lunch time.  We all eat together and it’s time to pack our beach bag, making sure I have plenty of milk and snacks, and the tent and towels and the float.  I slather my son in SPF 50 and top him off with a pretty stylin’ hat.  I grab my magazine.  On the way to the beach, we pass the hotel tiki bar.  Zac and I should definitely grab a cocktail before dinner one evening.  What fun!  Yeah, like this every actually happens!

   Finally set up at the beach, my dad is upstairs napping and their friends have chosen the pool.  Seems as though spending ample amounts of time with my cute little baby isn’t first on their vacation checklist. Hmmm!  But my mom is with us and she enjoys every second of hugging and playing with our little beachgoer…whom by the way, loves the ocean!  He crawls in and out of the tide pools, splashing away.  His daddy finds a little crab and he watches in amazement as it tickles his arm.  

   We decide it’s time to try out the pool.  We bought this awesome little raft with a sunshade and our angel enjoys the pool just as much as the ocean…he is our water baby and that pleases us immensely.  I’m happy to be in the pool because I think this hides those last few pounds of baby weight and I have fun swimming around his float and playing little games.  We return to the beach and to my mom and my dad (whose had a nice nap); my husband takes Luke out into the late afternoon sea.  He goes out far, safe in his daddy’s arms.  They jump the waves and my little boy doesn’t flinch when he gets splashed in the face.  With a huge grin on his face, hair slicked back with the salty water, my baby looks like a natural. 

   I am sitting in a chair, finally semi-relaxing and overwhelmed with happiness.  I may not be sipping a cocktail while reading up on Jennifer Aniston’s latest beau…but this is the closest to my vision of a family vacation, and I’ve waited for it my whole life.  There will be sleep and magazines again in my future, but at least I get to soak in these moments…and the sunshine…now!  

National Moms Relaxation Day - A Day of Pure Indulgence

We asked our Facebook fans a couple of days ago: What is YOUR idea of relaxation?? My friend Cayce  made us laugh with the familiarity of “A shower that lasts longer than a minute and a half.”  Sometimes our miniscule potty breaks are the only time we get alone in a day. But we need more!  It’s not just that we want more - (attention husbands, this is directed to you!) we really do NEED more!

Finding time for ourselves will make us feel better.  It’ll make us better moms; better wives; better friends. Do you remember all the things you used to really enjoy doing before you had kids.  Now is the time to reconnect with yourself and be you again…if even for an hour a day.

When I speak of finding time for yourselves, I’m not talking about the 30 minutes your hubs takes the kiddos out for ice cream and you scrub the floors.  I’m not talking about the 2-3 hours after the kids go to bed that you decide to get some work done. This isn’t the time to gather all the photos you’ve taken of your cute little babies and put them into photo albums. I’m not even talking about the hour you are gifted to sleep in one fine morning.

I’m talking about guiltless, shameless, pure indulgent YOU time.  Go to the cinema and see that new movie! Call up a girlfriend and meet her for cocktails and an app. Go for a jog and find a bench with a view and relax to your favorite tunes on your iPhone before you jog back.  DO go get your nails done - mani AND pedi, girl, you deserve it! Have a grown up conversation with your mom while sipping on white wine and nibbling on fine cheese at a local winery. If your parents pick up the kids, curl up on your couch with a cup of tea and read To Kill A Mockingbird …or the latest in housewife erotica.

I know it’s hard to find the time to devote to yourself, but it’s necessary.  Could you imagine if there was a holiday devoted to the indulgence and relaxation of all moms?  Sure, Mother’s Day already exists, tis true.  But, I think most of us enjoy that day with our dear families. But why not a day just for us?  A National Moms Relaxation Day, if you will.  Your family would greet you in the morning with a card inscribed: Enjoy your day, mom. You deserve it! We love you! And off you go to meet your girlfriends, or lay by the pool with a People magazine, or go to the spa…you get the idea. So tell us, how would you celebrate National Moms Relaxation Day?