Please Promise To - What We Provide Them With Today May Brighten The Path To Our Promises

Newborn

Mother - I promise to give you all the love and care you will ever need and more. 

Age 2

Mother - I promise you’ll have a great big grassy yard to play in.

Child – Please promise to spend quality time with me, whether it’s inside at home or outside at the park.    

Age 3 

Mother - I promise I’ll give you a little sister or brother.

Child – Please promise to have me socialize with other children my age and not just sit me in front of the television all day.      

Age 5

Mother - I promise you I’ll send you to the best school.

Child – Please promise to spend one-on-one time with me after school helping me with my homework and teaching me all that you know.

Age 10

Mother - I promise I’ll take you to Disney World.

Child – Please promise to really listen to me, support my interests and let me explore my independence.

Age 13

Mother - I promise I’ll buy you all the right clothes.

Child – Please promise to teach me to be confident in myself, no matter what I’m wearing.

Age 16

Mother - I promise I’ll buy you a car.

Child – Please promise to teach me how to save money and earn the things that I want to have.

Age 18

Mother - I promise I’ll send you to the University of your choosing.

Child – Please promise to carve a path for me to do well in school so I may earn scholarships to get me through college.

             

Mothers make a simple promise to their newborn - to love them and care for them, no matter what it takes.  It doesn’t take long, however, for more complicated hopes and dreams to take focus in our mind.  Yet, with unexpected economic heartbreak, career detours, and everyday challenges that life is sure to deliver-and does; some of the promises we make to our children may feel like illusions.

It is through our disappointments we must realize that if we’re providing our kids with the essentials of love and security, they will survive.  More than likely, if we are the type of mothers that even have these worries; these children will thrive.  Isn’t it true that what we’re already providing them is all they really need?

We can get so hung up on giving them all the bells and whistles- the best schools, mind-blowing vacations and the trendiest clothes, but what really matters are the simple times you spend with them and enjoying each moment in our today.

A Valentine's Broken Heart

I had no doubt my heart would be broken that Valentine’s Day in 2007.  You see, I’d given birth to my baby girl on January 21^st.  Just over three weeks passed and I was standing on the doorstep of a woman I’d barely even spoken with, ready to hand over my precious newborn. 

   I stood there for what seemed like eternity, staring at the door.  It was a beige door, framed by a pretty, upscale brick house.  I guess that should’ve made me feel better, in some weird, only in today’s-society kind of way.  She had a nice house, so surely—she was a good person?  That’s the way it works, right?

   I kept staring, holding my sleeping infant close to my chest.  I’d dressed her special that day, in cute little jeans with a heart on them and a matching heart onesie.  Being a new mother, I didn’t know the obvious…that jeans were uncomfortable and that babies actually preferred to be in soft clothing.  Well, at least she festively matched for the holiday on her first day of daycare.

   I reached my hand up to knock, but then I heard Callie whimper and quickly pulled away.  I patted her soft head of dark, messy hair.  Why was I dropping her off only after three weeks I again asked myself?   Oh yes…that’s right.  I had to.  I’d been working in an insurance agency for about two years.  I only had three weeks of time to take off, and with my husband and me struggling to make ends meet …that’s all I could take.  Besides, I was lucky—wasn’t I?  Most of the other ladies in my office with children had taken only two weeks off…

   Abruptly, a short, beautiful Puerto Rican woman opened the door.  I wondered if I’d even knocked?  Her eyes filled with confusion as she waved me inside.  “Come on in, Trina. How long have you been out here?”

   She seemed to sense my fears, or at least knew of them due to past experience, and gestured for me to sit on her couch.  Her white carpet looked impeccable, not a spot anywhere.  I looked around at the five other young children playing with toys, wondering how on earth she kept her house so perfect.  Not a spec of dust anywhere on her expensive furniture.  Was this a good sign?

   I didn’t think so.

   We chatted for a few minutes, mostly me reminding Aurea of Callie’s schedule. I laugh now at this notion—schedule?  At three weeks?  There was no schedule!  And the gleam in Aurea’s eyes said she knew this, too.

   I hugged my tiny little baby girl close to my chest, and then passed her away for the first time.  Aurea immediately set her in a bouncy chair and bustled off into the kitchen, which made me only want to stay longer.  She should be held!  All the time!  I tried to stay strong and forced myself to leave.  I drove away, crying.  And not just a tear or two…real tears.  A veritable deluge washing down my face.  What kind of terrible mother leaves her baby at such a young age?  What kind of life was I already setting her up for?  Little did I know, it was only the beginning of the long list of failures I’d blame myself for as a mother.

   I did call to check on Callie about four times that day; thankfully, Aurea was patient and friendly.  Although I was concerned about my leaving my daughter, I knew deep down, she was in great hands.  I’d specially picked Aurea, who had a huge list of references.  There is about three or four ladies who did daycare in the town where I worked.  They worked together and were friends—all coming with high recommendations and all typically full and taking no more kids.  I still think Aurea was a huge blessing.

   Sometimes, as mothers, we have to know what’s best for our children…even if it’s tough.  I believe that Aurea brought something to, not only my child, but my family, that I couldn’t.  She was patient, loving, smart, and incredibly experienced in the area of child-rearing and care-taking.  By the time Callie was two, she was taking naps at the same time every day.  She was cleaning up and putting all her toys back where they belonged.  She was eating a well-balanced lunch and not complaining a lick about it.  She was reading books and singing songs I never thought a two-year-old could sing.  And she had a heart of gold and a giving nature that I believe only partly could’ve been born in her and partly taught to her.  

*Trina